two faces

two faces

happy face
i passed accounting

sad face
i was SO harassed this term

inxs: i wouldnt be posting in my blog for a long time because computer at home crashed and im not gonna be in any internet cafes for the whole christmas break.

cheers!

this day is today

this day is today

one more wish

last night, i was really feeling all shitty and annoyed so i asked my friends to go with me and drink. we did. in century park (top of the century) hotel. i also get to force nikki to go with me.. hehehe.. anyway so it was jd, yuri, abner, nikki and i. it was fun because i got be a little drunk and for a while i was so carefree and happy. not that im not happy. you get me anyway.. then i spent like about 1500 pesos for that night.. hehe.. my bad.. MY BAD.. i dont wanna say this because i think my mother reads this but heck it was all worth it. and i also got to sing one song. thanks to the wonderful pianista there. hehe.. i sang.. well, it was the only song i could remember that time, because of you. hehe..
so im happy again..


of sleeping pills and numbers

after i all got drunk, i took some sleeping pills that my doctor prescribed. had the best sleep for days now. then i got up at 2 in the afternoon. and my friend erika called me asking for help. i did. i went to la salle wearing just my pamabahay coz i thought that classes are already over so no one really will be there. not that it matters. anyway, so i went there not expecting that i will help ericka not in any papers but helping her encode all the grades of the students in all the classes of her professor. anyway all i get to see form then on are numbers number and more numbers. weird

binging and parks

we were so tired kanina that we went to the park to smoke. tapos. super food trip. REPUS GOBAS! as diane would say it..

so there im here again doing other people's projects. deng

ciao!

and it all came to pass

and it all came to pass..

damn accounting and business and corporation taxation.. im done with them. today is the last time im going to study them.. and i wasnt able to "make bawi" the fologic course.. i only got a 2.. dammit. my anxiety still runs from this minute up to the time coursecards are given on monday.. how life sucks..

yeah FPJ died, and like i said, i couldnt care less.

plus im going to take a very very long and pleasurable breather starting now.

how do i feel? pissed off.

VERY pissed off.

breathe, bryan, breathe...

this is the day

this is the day

gak! i have just gone through the most hectic day of my life..
*bleep*
anyway thank god i was able to get everything done. now i only have one quiz tomorrow for accounting and two finals for both accounting and bucotax.. EEK...

nuff said..

typing the day away

typing the day away...

segway: somebody texted me this and made me so happy during the rest of the day (typed exactly as texted)
t0p 3 thngs i lyk bt BRYAN:3)he cn easily cnct with 0thr ppl and he's snsitiv 2 their neds, 2)he's knd, he has a wndrfl yt 1 f a knd persnalty myb bcz he's a gud wrtr, and i nj0y talkng 2hm, 1)i fl cmfrtble xpresng wt i wnt 2 say bt alm0st anything
now who would not be happy with that? the ultimate compliment for me! haha.. thanks so much!

i dunno why im doing this blog especially when ive been typing from 1130 in the morning up to this time 12 midnight.

i have been harrassed since monday because of tons of paperwork. i know that its partly my fault but half of the blame should be on my professors. like what i said in my previous blog, my profs being more than happy giving us paperworks, well it really came true - BIG TIME! imagine:

1 full paper for asian global brands1 group paper for a concept retail store, with business plan, proposed site etc etc... the whole nine yards

2 reaction papers for 1. (a mere 150 page case of) Tolentino vs. the Secretary of Finance 2. The website of the Bureau of Internal Revenue

1 Self Critique for Speech class1 group paper for my sales management class including recommendations

defense of the group paper for the concept store on friday

quiz in accounting on friday

breathe...

breathe...

and whats worse, the computer at home crashed. now what could be worse than that? hate, disgust and hopelesness couldnt even begin to describe what i feel.

dammit!

LUCKILY.. thanks to patty and to mama mary's birthday, i was able to borrow patty's laptop (heaven sent!) and do ALMOST everything of what im supposed to do. i know i can do this. its just that its so overwhelming and for some part, disgusting, to even comprehend all the things that is happenning.

now im here, in front of the laptop, eating the whole tub of ice cream, while eating junk food and watching tv all at the same time.

ive got to take valiums now.

ciao!

no classes

today: no classes... tomorrow: no classes...

great. just great. no classes today. but what pisses me off is that we are supposed to have our report today and our bucotax quiz. but thanks to this rain, well thats an understatement since almost 400 died already and classes are also suspended tomorrow, our report wont be over till tues next week. RAWR! and my freakin professors would always be happy enough to make our lives miserable for the next week to make up for the many times we had no classes. darn. F*CK. well whats up with me. no poems for today. laundry is waist high. its so cold. im freezing. but im ok. and im somewhat thankful for it.


but there's this quiz i got from pres' blog (thanks pres!) about adhd. and you can read some of her hilarious blogs on www.livejournal.com/~fweakish...

you can take your own quiz if you want..

More than 20 checked items on the self ADHD test and Attention Deficit Disorder test indicates a strong tendency toward Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
___ Does not work to potential in school, receives "not working to potential" teacher comments.
___ * Has short attention span unless very interested in a particular subject.
___ Has a family history of Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, learning problems or substance abuse.
___ * Is easily distracted.
___ Lacks attention to detail.
___ Has sloppy handwriting.
___ Has difficulty putting thoughts on paper.
___ * Has trouble listening carefully to directions.
___ * Frequently forgets or misplaces things.
___ Skips around while reading.
___ Has difficulty learning new games and new skills.
___ Has poor listening skills.
___ Transposes numbers, letters or words.
___ * Is restless or in constant motion, is always "on the go."
___ Concentrates better when moving or fidgeting.
___ Has trouble sitting still or sitting in one place too long.
___ * Has increased anxiety or nervousness.
___ * Has a history of bed wetting beyond the age 5.
___ Has poor communication skills.
___ * Lacks tact, often spurting out the first thing that comes to mind.
___ Acts impulsively or dangerously without considering the consequences.
___ * Is easily bored.
___ Says things without thinking and later regrets having said them.
___ * Starts to answer questions before the questions are fully asked.
___ * Is impatient.
___ Has trouble following verbal directions.
___ * Makes careless mistakes in schoolwork.
___ Has tendency to embarrass others.
___ * Lies or steals on impulse. (i dont steal.. just lie on impulse)
___ * Has trouble maintaining an organized work or living area.
___ * Is often late.
___ * Procrastinates, especially with multi-faceted tasks.
___ Is easily overwhelmed by everyday tasks.
___ * Has trouble getting started.
___ Starts projects but does not finish them.
___ Fails to finish schoolwork or chores.
___ * Is inconsistent with school performance.
___ Spends excessive time on homework.
___ Has a tendency to drift away.
___ Has problems with self-esteem.
___ Has a negative attitude.
___ Has trouble maintaining friendships.
___ Acts immature for age.
___ * Has trouble expressing thoughts and feelings.
___ Is verbally or physically abusive.
___ Avoids group activities or organized sports.
___ Has a quick temper, is "short-fused."
___ * Has rage outbursts.
___ Gets upset by minor annoyances.
___ Is argumentative.
___ * Worries needlessly or excessively.
___ * Has tendency toward obsessive behavior.
___ Turns words around in conversations.
___ Performs poorly under pressure.
___ Has difficulty reading unless very interested in the subject.
___ * Has difficulty falling asleep.
___ * Has difficulty waking up or feeling fully awake.
___ * Is frequently tired.
___ Startles easily.
___ * Is sensitive to touch, clothes, noise or light.
___ Is more comfortable moving than sitting still.
___ * Has moods swings from highs to lows.
___ Has trouble planning a series of tasks or activities.
___ Become upset easily, is "thin-skinned."
___ Talks excessively.
___ Fidgets, even when sitting quietly.
___ Has difficulty waiting in turn during group activities.
___ * Frequently daydreams or "spaces out."
___ "Blanks out" when taking tests or under pressure.
___ Has low frustration tolerance.
___ Has frequent behavior problems in school

dammit! 28! hahahahhaa.. more than the normal.. but im sure that im not. hehe.now im depressed! darn am i THAT sick? o well.. thats me. take it or leave it. i suggest you take it. its not that usual that someone like me comes into you life dammit! haha kidding!

hmm guess what?! i have the pics already! yay!! haha.. thanks to macky..but these pics are just either backstage or during the rehearsals. i look like skin and bones on the performances pics eh. plus the lighting is dark. hehe and its unclear. oki? kapeesh? (or is that spelled "capiche") anyway.. enjoy!!

our poster! *claps for drei!*

rr and me during pictorial which we never saw

cha rr and me still during pictorial again which we never saw

me, nikki, arman and rr.. arman here is a member of the beatles circa 2004! and nikki, hot chick in hot pink! hehe :)

ok i said i wouldnt be posting any performance pics but hey.. i made one and like i said its unclear.. so i did this...

who says pharaoh cant dance?

thanks macky for the wonderful pics.. hehe..

now, exit stage right..

my mother wont be happy

mommy wont be happy

this past week is spelled S-P-E-N-T-M-U-C-H... raawrr! i cant believe that ive spent a big chunk of my allowance.. and hey! its just the first week of the allowance month but ive spent nearly half of my allowance.. damn.. it sucks.. but i enjoyed it.. thats quite fun and depressing at the same time.anyway, last saturday i watched the incredibles. wednesday was bcuz of you (yeah i know), yesterday was alexander - WOW! and today, national treasure. it was fun fun fun! hehe..regarding my sales - well it kinda turned another way. i asked for mommy's help and she told me to give gilbert a call. i did and it produced me 4k worth of products. last friday too i was able to meet the manager of Magnun wines and restaurant in gb2.. turned out ok and i hope i would be able to close the 20k deal. i also have two more prospects whom i texted and texted back with positive reply. now im doing ok.. with the cash i have, 4k, i only now have 16k more to go! wipeee!!! again, where are the friends?! deng..

anyway no classes tom. nice.. no bucotax on tues too! YAY!

im writing jibberish already so i have to stop.again i know my mother wont be all too happy when she reads that i have spent too much of my allowance already.. hehe..

ciao!

those things people do in joseph

those things people do in jospeh

inspired by hogi's blog which was inspired by LJ's meme.. whatever that is.. anyway here it is..

1. this guy is the reason why i was in joseph. this short guy is shortER than most of us. he is the beatles of our group, the leader of chinese mafia. i could not imagine this guy being into theater but, heck, he introduced me to theater and my dream! how could i forget you? you and your impossible crush!
clue: bansot.. sobra

2. this woman i can describe in 7 words.. "now you see her, now you dont" always up and running. but still manages to practice with us amateurs. she writes killer blogs. believe it or not, i havent heard her sing yet. we have been together hours on end but no songs. hehe.. first i thought she was masungit and mataray and all. when i was auditioning, i could feel her stare pierce through my very skin. whew.
clue: "HEYA!"

3. this guy was the first person who taught me to dance jazz and hip hop and all(even interpretative dancing which i only thought could happen to little miss philippines).. the person who could be bouncing one time and very quiet and at times scary at another. maraming kapangalan. but still one and unique. i cant imagine playing three different roles in one musical but hey, you pulled it off! nice work!
clue: BASS dancer

4. who would have thought that he is the flesh incarnate of "big things come in small packages?" when he first sang, we were all floored. damn this guy is GOOD! he can turn old, sappy songs to a mean pavarotti number. need i say more? he likes dreams.
clue: COMA!

5. "kung galit ako, matagal na kayong wala lahat dito" hmm the infamous quote from the MAN himself. like i said, this guy is confusing. when he talks, everybody listens but everybody smiles. we dont know wether to take him seriously or not. mellow, slow and sure - thats his voice. never seems to run out of blush on! ok this is a give away. still the man behind this all.
clue: what does regine, eraserheads and apo hiking society have in common?

6. my other half. when im practicing, he is practicing. when im not practicing, hes also not practicing. imagine telling the castmates that hes going to cebu TOO just to miss the saturday practice. you can confuse this guy for me. another give away
clue: pompom, dada, mama, nana, ______

7. "sumusunod sa galaw ko" and "walang sabit!"this chinita likes to wear wigs.. hahaha kidding! just kidding! another line from her "ang gwapo gwapo niya kaya sa paningin ko!" gosh we were all appalled when she said that! kidding again! baby voice and one of my "foxy ladies" during my pharoah stint.
clue: walang sabit!

8. manyak. this person raped me when i was sleeping in between performances. bouncing and jolly. called me kuya before and even has her manners intact with her "po" and "opo" sheesh im just like um basta a little older than this person. this person likes to massage me. and her hands could reach even up to the lower part of my back and upper part of my thighs! you nasty lass!
clue: MOST SEXIEST-NESS-LY-FULL (take last syllable seriously! :p)

9. jesus christ superstar. mr green. i got close to him during the last weeks of rehearsal. one cool dude! we could spend the whole 3-4 hours laughing and making fun of the steps (to the disappoinment of drei and nikko!) we invented the posing walking thingy while singing our "aaahhhss" when joseph was sold to the "hairy bunch of Ishmaelites" hehe.. he thinks he's tall. maybe he is. for THEIR size. kidding! we have one common friend pala! harhar! nice feet!
clue: "suntan lotion please!"

10. this person. when i first saw this person i thought this person was masungit and all. i mean this person would talk and joke but this person likes to smile. and when this person smiles, damn this person loses this person's eyes. this person likes to burst with one liner songs like "mga santo santito" or "maganda, magandang..." or "ituro mong muli.." this person and i got close during the show itself. and this person and i started to text each other. this person and i are supposed to watch a play but begged off last minute. this person and i are catching a flick this saturday. this person and i have many things in common. this person and i really text each other A LOT, thanks to me. i spent one prepaid card texting this person for a week. hehe!!!
clue: walang clue! harharhar!

now that i did it.. guess who it is.. and make one of this too! :)

the year of a four that i have loved

the year of a four that i have loved

like butterflies hovering
from another petal to another's
the words are drifting by
like dead wood on murky rivers

like a maple leaf

would fall on a grey autum afternoon

the touch is a mere brushing

of a wind to a boulder

like a fish that is trapped
beneath a clear ice slab
your stare is as cold
as the moon on a clear december night

like the sun's rays
would irritate a scum on a pond
and lilies would bow with ire to intense heat
your presence is as dead
as mirage on a red sandy desert

like seasons would change
like time would slowly pass
these thoughts that is of you
would not go at last

another product of boredom of taxation... *sigh*

product of taxation

the product of taxation

In the corner
I hear the murmur
Of people going
To and fro
I hear a fly buzz
And people fuss

In the corner
I sit in silence
While watching things
Just transpire in front
Of my tired eyes
I see an ant crawl
While another falls

In this corner
I have myself
In this corner
I can be myself

In the corner
Someone is watching
Someone misses a stare
And another puts on a smile


Ok I have been really lazy this past week and I also broke my promise of uploading the pics.. well its not me that broke that promise but my friend who promised that he would send me the pics.. up unitl now – nothing.. but its cool.. I can deal with that.. even I am too lazy to put everything that happens here.. but hey, ive got a poem! Hehe.. another product of my "SPARE TIME" in bucotax.. I don’t know if I just don’t really like taxation or my mind isnt just processing well during my very late 6-7:30pm class.. teeheehee..

Anyway ill put this in bullet form since most of (the 5 people) those who visit here are not really that interested.. harhar! Again all is cool..

+ I met someone in the play.. and I wont tell. We text each other a lot.. wink wink

+ bucotax sucks bigtime!

+ I had fun yesterday coz I chatted with pres. I could have stayed with her for hours on end but I forgot I have a class.. o well, pres I miss you! Shout outs to my souldfriend! Love you and miss you – a lot! Even honeybunch misses you! Minsan nga kala ko talaga baliw na ko kasi biglang nagsalita si honeybuch sabi "kala ko si pres" I think I told you that story already.. its really funny AND scary at the same time.. a dog talking.. holy kamote as hogi would say it.. and baka ako ma-COMATOSE!

+ as you have seen, COMATOSE is my new word.. I dunno but I kinda just went out somebody’s mouth (ferson) during our rehearsals.. funny..
CO-ma-tose (khomatows) term used for something that would want to think would happen to you whenever something abnormal or inexplicable happens.
Example: pucha! Naco-COMATOSE na ko sa mga steps!
Ay nako patay tayo dyan. COMATOSE ang boses ng tenor!
During the performance, na COMATOSE ang narrator sa kanyang gagawin
Ok laugh now..

+ last Monday we had no classes. I had this time to do OUR laundry, which I do almost all the time.. teeheehee! Imagine my height. Imagine my waist. Our laundry is up to there already.. hehe.. wait! And that’s excluding the briefs and socks.. o well, I enjoyed it anyway,, I have no choice, either I enjoy it or just be miserable the whole 6 hours of laundry. I chose the former.. I sang and I reminisced and I watched the sun set.. enough..
later that day, much later than you would think, I watched a movie – again, alone! Hehehe.. I watched TAXI – hilarious! AND wicked.. whatever that means.. I was so pathetic that night that I was laughing not only because of the movie (remember laughing gas and driving!) but because I was watching a comedy alone. Bwahahahahaha.. good thing I was the only person in the row that evening. And only a few people were watching.. again, stop.

+ bucotax sucks bigtime!

+ this week was so freakin full of papers to submit. I hate it. But I gotta love it coz its all my majors.. were going to Kuala Lumpur the end of the month.. or maybe Hong Kong.. but they say its HK.. whatever.. i want to come but im afraid of the money I would spend on petty things when im there. Not to mention the pasalubongs and the memento I have to get for my friends and myself as well..

+ in one of our majors where we are supposed to sell and reach a quota of 20000, my other classmates already reached their quota and some even reached 40K already.. and my pretty pathetic self is still ZERO on the board. Hehehe.. its not funny but im laughing.. that’s how pathetic it is.. my friends who said would help me, well.. they are still my friends.. sigh..

+ bucotax sucks bigtime!

+ last Tuesday, I was surprised to see lights and people buzzing around the garage when I got home around 8 in the evening.. I asked people around and luckily I found tita eda. I asked her VERY enthusiastically “tita eds, ANO MERON?!” she looked at me and said “namatay na kasi yung mommy ko.. may cancer kasi siya diba?”
I was floored
And disgusted with myself
All I was able to say and do was “ay sorry…” and hugged and kissed her..
How numb could I be? There was a wake just below my quarters and lo and behold, I thought there was a party.. silly me.. and stupid.

+ today I was supposed to watch a play with my former castmates. Again bucotax hindered me.. I have a class. And I gotta finish the assignments for accounting and crithin for the next day.. im really this studious.. :p

+ let me end by saying bucotax sucks..

toodles you people who read this.. and sorry I missed posting here this long..

quote for the week: “AMBANGO BANGO KO!”

pics

Joseph Hangover

i just visited HOGI's site and she uploaded pala some pics from backstage and during rehearsals! hehe.. read all about what she said on her blog.. i linked her up naman eh so you could just click HOGI at my links.. i just got one pic there though, *sighs and looks at hogi*
anyway dont worry ill upload some of mine this week promise!

joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat: epilogue

"and his dreams finally came true"

not only did joseph's dreams came true but mine as well..

yesterday was the show of our musical "joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat." and i had a ball. im so happy that i was able to do all my parts with such ease and confidence. i never knew that i can sing "elvis style" EVER! and i believe i gave justice to the character.. hehe.. now i know that i want it. i want the stage, i want the lights, i want the costumes, i want the company, i want the songs, i want the creativity, and i want to perform. its nice to have that life. but it can't be. but heck im happy! one dream down!remember when i posted here the things that i wanted to do before i die? well this is definitely one of those and it came true! YAY for me!

i know rain and the other gang read this and we share the same feelings toward the last show. and i want to be blunt about it. it was a disaster for the narrator. *sigh*too bad that when we gave everything that we have, it just needs one to destroy everything.her songs were flat and off key. she keeps forgeting her lines. she doesnt know her blocking. she one handedly, annihilated the play *nods nods*. im not bad. its just that its so depressing when you have memorized all the lines that youre supposed to memorize, put into mind all the voicing you have to sing, called all the steps in the choreography and it only takes one to throw it all away.but its now today, and thats yesterday. like i said, i had a ball!

ill be missing the everyday practices, the relationships that we have built, the conversations we all had, our little jokes, our BIG jokes (*wink wink to jun jun and miko and arman!*) and the bonding that we all had. but i have faith that ill be seeing them again in other places, in other circumstances, in other plays, in other musical, in maybe in another life.. hehe..

kudos to all my cast mates! you have been part of my dream and i will never forget both the experience and YOU! i love you guys!


shout outs to rain, hogi, drei, nikko, cha, anthony, chris and the whole gang!

*and o, i will upload some pictures this coming week!

i can see you

mood: steady

music: stronger

i can see you

everytime your gentle mouth press against mine

i can see you

everytime your hand would reach for mine

i can see you

when your heart yearns and i fill it

i can see you

everytime you turn the other way and kiss another's lips

i can see you

when your hands would reach for another's

i can see you

when the heart i have filled has been filled by another's love

i can feel you

everytime you feel the gnashing of the cold

i can feel you

everytime your heart longs for another's

i can feel you

when the days would seem so empty, so cold

you shiver

i can feel you

when you choose to be warmed by another's touch

i can feel you

each time you think of another's warmth

i can still smell the passion in your eyes

i can still taste another's lips pressing against yours

i can still hear you whisper someone else's name

i can still see you, when you'd rather be with another's sun

i can still feel everything

my heart is weak

it cant go on like this

my mind would go wild

everytime you would crave for his

i have to leave

to have my own piece of mind

that i so long deserved

youre so naive to let yourself find

i dont want to

but i choose to

and im free

bday

its my fucking birthday today and im so freakin old so do me a favor, greet me in the tagboard!

nuff said...

random thoughts

random thoughts

+ ive added another thing here, its the moon! welcome the moon calendar.. now i have an idea what the moon looks like..

+ i just finished my three page reaction paper to this shitty taxation case. i have to read 15 pages of law jargons at the same time understand it to react. which brings me to the thought that WHY DO PEOPLE REACT FASTER THAN THEY COULD UNDERSTAND?

+ i went to enchanted last saturday. it was boring at first coz ive been there too many times. but in the end of course, i had fun coz i got all soaked up. from my back down to my pants and my undies. i was happy that my socks arent wet though.

+ i have to go to another marketing out-of-classroom class tom. well go to market market at 5pm tomorrow and audit the retailers there.

+ i wasnt able to practice last saturday for the play because i went to EK. i wasnt able to practice tonight also because i had no money left to go to CSB. poor me. and my friend rr, was texting me the whole time but i couldnt reply - again - no money to even reload. now they are all gonna kill me.

+ i am currently reading THE ALCHEMIST and i find it very good. thanks to jelz for lending it to me. i was planning to buy it eversince but again, no money. there so much to write about that book and ill just compile it then ill publish it here.

+ its 1:30 now here and i am so sleepy but i want to write more. maybe next time. i dunno im still deciding up until i finish this sentence which i think i would be able to because theres just so many thought runing through my mind right now, hence the title. well its ended

+ im going to cebu this weekend

+ i might go to hongkong for another marketing class event. who said marketing was boring?

+ my passport isnt fixed yet *BLEEP*

+i have a poem that i made and here it is

the end is near

and darkness looms

my eyes are weak

cannot see light

my legs give up

my body rocks

a taste of life

is this what is?

i lost my heart

into the night

i have to fight

to call my life

i give my soul

to you along

i offer up

body and soul

to live or die

to breath or not

to see, be blind

truth cannot hide

my grief now ends

with light i see

beyond the skies

i see the sun

+ now i rest in peace.

goodnight!

peechur peechur!

peechur peechur!

here are the two latest pics i got. thanks to macky! wow, my barkada and i got together last last saturday and we watched a sharks tale and just bummed around g4.. hehe.. feast your eyes. (two lang to!)

after the movie

knock out with peter

and here are my boredom projects.. hehe.. thanks to macky again for the pics!

my upcoming ad ;)

senti moment

hehe, check out my friendster meron pang mas OA dun. patawa lang kasi nagalit si mommy sakin sa mga pics ko, mukha daw akong addict. hehe! :) sabi ko mom dear, your son is now a model.. NIAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

ciao!

collection

untitled - i cant think of a title

hello peeps. long time. anyway, ive been really busy but i made some short journals over my pc this week. i compiled it nalang. so here it is. i forgot the date though, but its arranged chronologically. from the first to the latest. anyway i watched himala again this afternoon. WOW! yun lang...
oh, chona is now a gonner. chona is gone but she will be greatly missed. :)

sleepless in bangkal

its 2am here and i cant sleep. tomorrow's gonna be a new day and packed day at that. my classes start at 1pm. i have to report on that but right this minute, i dont have anything to wear. they told me to wear blue but i dont have a blue shirt. right after that, i have to rush for a taxi to take me to manila modeling agency to have my vtr for a christmas beer commercial. now im getting used to going there that i dont fuss about what im gonna wear. and tomorrow's gonna be the first day that i will be wearing me. not that i wasnt myself when i came there before but i used to prepare at least a day before. and tomorrow, ill just wear whatever is in my rack. then after the vtr, i have to rush back to school yet again to make it to my speech classes. next is the taxation classes. after school, i have to go yet to another school - which is right infront on dlsu - csb. i must be there by six to make it to my rehearsal for joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat musical.. hehe.. talk about making showbusiness a career! wahahaha! listen to me talk! the rehearsal's gonna be till 9. then i have to go home and study for my accounting test the next day (yeah, as if)ok i have nothing to say anymore.. ciao!

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may himala

i just came from the joseph rehearsal tonight. im so happy coz we are included in the final cast. and it is just tonight that i learned that it is I and my friend, rr, who are to play Potiphar. we are assured that one of us will play him and the other will be the understudy. the only problem is that the character will be SHIRTLESS.. whew.. di yun kakayanin ng powers ko. yata.o well.

right now, im listening to the cd of himala the musical. you gotta love this one! i wish you could listen to this. o sheesh! im going to the musical (again) this sunday. yay!and o, by the way, the vtr went well last tues. ang daming tao sa MMC. shets. para akong nag o-audition sa star circle quest - eeww. anyway it was so packed with people that i was there for 3 hours (of what was supposed to be just under 5 mins) and i missed my 6pm class. my crush was there! haha.. she invited my and my friend to a bottle of beer in absinth - happy hour. well i could have stayed there till the wee hours of the morning. only that im supposed to go to my rehearsal for joseph. deng! so i had to say goodbye even though she was begging me to stay. awww.. she said that she would give me tickets to an event this november yay! plus, she invited me to this mud wrestling thing she is in to. WOW!o well right now i have nothing else to say. shoo!

chona on my mind

chona on my mind

grabe, i was hurting my stomach while reading this blog by a certain chona mae.. HILARIOUS!!!!

http://chona.blogspot.com

i dunno if this blog really is true but it got my two thumbs (and FEET) up!
this is about the maid's (chona) adventure and misadventure in the city. hahaha.. i am still grinning while writing this.. hehe!
enjoy!

let play!

lets play a game

ok this is game is introducing your name and the next line would be rhyming with the last word.. sorta like your pick up line in bars.. but with a twist.. this is the result of pure boredom during taxation classes..

hi im bryan
and i make girls go cryin

hi im bryan
and im always lyin'

hi im yuri
and i smell like curry

hi im jd
can you be my baby?

hi im jelz
my pussy smells

hi im drew
wanna do something new?

hi im baggy
wanna smell my pussy?

hi im pres
i dont like mah fez :)

hi im janna
you just make me wanna

hi im janna
im as big as a planggana :)

hi im...

now its your turn.. happy rhymin!!

inxs: sorry for the names ive used.. haha!

evil

evil - ness

I am 54% evil.

I'm getting there. I haven't done all the damage I could do but I've done quite a bit. I'm just over the border into the Evil Zone.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

a tribute to death

a tribute to death

if theres really something that makes me write, its these things: depression, boredom, extreme happiness and death.

just a this evening, i was watching the news when the photo of rio diaz came up. she was dead. she was battling colon cancer for years now.

i followed her story through the documentaries and the interviews made for her. while watching, i cant help admiring her courage and strength amidst all the pains, both physically and mentally, she has been through. what made me admire her most is the fact that she never stopped smiling and praising the Lord for everything. truly a christian optimist personified.

when i think about it what is in her spirit that made her say all those things? what goes on in her mind when death looms just outside her doorstep? how did she prepare for her death? did she receive death with open arms? how can all these seem to be so easy for her?

i guess, no one can ever deny that she is a faithful christian. whatever happens, theres a reason. and all these has a season. FAITH. how can i say that i have faith when i see motherless children roaming the streets? when everyday i see poverty? when i see good persons suffer? when i myself have demons to fight?

she accepted death like it was just a day that would pass. truly, it did came to pass. she went away like a candle in the wind. she faded like a sunset - slowly yet inspiring. ACCEPTANCE. how can we accept the things that happen to us? how can i accept that we are just going through this life to go through all the troubles and pains and joys and fun and all those things but ultimately just lead to death?

she prepared for her death. literally and figuratively. she told her children that one day soon, shell be gone. that they wouldnt have a mother as caring, lovely and strong like her? PREPARATION. how can we prepare for life? whats on the edge of things? how can i prepare myself for the fact that someday, all the people i care for will be gone?

she did accept death with open arms. though on her deathbed, she did ask for one more day. nonetheless, she received death. how i admire her. imagine after remission, she went back to the same thing again.
i guess what matters is not how high you rise but how you rise after you fall. flying high is great. imagine touching the clouds with your nose and feeling the breeze under your arms.. but when you fall. its hard. especially when youre flying oh so high. but surviving that fall is even more difficult. and i just admire the people who do. my mom is such a good example. and i would like to end this post by just saying, i love my mom.

pink shirt

pink shirt

last saturday i bought shirts.
i also bought my first ever pink item.
a pink shirt.
and i never thought pink was my color.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

joseph.. second thoughts

joseph.. second thoughts

call me whatever you like but im having second thoughts about joseph the musical. but before that, let me correct myself - its not joseph the dreamer. rather, its joseph and the technicolor coat (also not joseph and the raincoat, like what my friend asked me). ok, continuing.. the only thing i dont like about it is the schedule of rehearsals. ;) its just pathetic - ness - li - ful
see, my classes every mondays, wednesdays and fridays start at 7 in the morning and ends 1240 in the afternoon. rehearsals start at 6 and ends at 9. i go to the gym (supposedly) at 9 and end at 12. deng.
my schedule

MWF
5:30 wake up
6:30 go to school
7:00 - 8:00 accounting
8:00 - 9:00 computer lab and do nothing but surf, check my mail and surf again and sometimes stare at the monitor
9:00 - 10:00 stay in the university mall and just do nothing, most often than not, im sipping coffee while taking to friends
10:00 - 10:30 do nothing. smoke
10:30 - 11:30 marketing major
11:40 - 12:40 critical thinking (hello?! its a subject)
12:40 - 1:00 stay again in UM and then go home
1:30 - 2:30 be home and eat
if i didnt have the rehearsals
2:30 - 6:00 sleep
6pm onwards wake up, eat then go to the gym
1 am sleep yet again
if i have the rehearsals
2:30 - 5:00 sleep
5:30 - 9:00 go to benilde and have the rehearsals
then i go home and try to make it to the gym and sleep

(this is the most colorful blog i ever did. and it sucks.. lol)
o well, this is really pathetic of me. listen to me rant again. deng. Deng. DENG!
ciao!

buffalo

say buffalo

My new favorite, completely grammatical sentence is "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo." Let me break it down for you- a similar sentence would be something like "The tiny animals that tigers eat often eat other tiny animals." American bison from Buffalo, New York can be called “Buffalo buffalo.” (adjective, noun) So, replacing every noun (and adjective) in the sentence with “Buffalo buffalo,” then “The Buffalo buffalo that Buffalo buffalo eat often eat other Buffalo buffalo.” Now, “buffalo” can also be a verb (“to overwhelm, to intimidate”). So, replacing the verbs with buffalo, “The Buffalo buffalo that Buffalo buffalo buffalo often buffalo other Buffalo buffalo.” Now, removing unnecessary words (like in “Tiny animals tigers eat eat tiny animals”) we have “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.”

For more amusing language tricks, consult “The Language Instinct,” by Steven Pinker.

Joseph... dream on

Joseph... dream on

just last thursday, i have auditioned for a part in a musical, Joseph the Dreamer. i never really thought about what i was doing but i know for sure that i have long dreamed of playing a part in a musical. just when i thought of dropping the thought (or Dream!) about that, my friend told me that the company that he is in is looking for talented people to play a part in their musical. and boy, am i talented! wahahaha.. so i auditioned. i never really thought that i was going to sing. i know, i know that its a musical so one is expected to sing. maybe i just wasnt well aware of what i am doing. so i sang. and they told me to sing something MORE theatrical. and i did. it wasnt theatrical, though, but i just thought that they want to hear a more "theater friendly" voice - something that is loud and audible, crisp and clear. and i sang "lead me lord."bragging aside, i never really tried that hard but they got me. and they said that if i have the commitment to practice four times a week, then im sure to bag one of the lead roles. :)

ok.. ive done one of my wishes. and it feels SO GREAT!
ciao!

taft: ang pagmamasid

taft: ang pagmamasid

habang naglalakad ako sa taft pauwi, nakakita ako ng isang nanlilimos na babae. mukha siyang may sakit. kalunos lunos ang hitsura niya. nanghihingi siya ng barya sakin. karaniwan, hindi ko pinapansin ang mga ganitong eksena kapag nasa taft ako. bahagi na kasi sa lugar na ito ang mga ganitong pangitain - mga batang nanghihingi ng barya at mga taong grasa, mga taong hindi raw makauwi sa probinsya at nanghihingi ng konting tulong, mga taong namimigay ng mga stickers na "LOVE GOD" at pagkuha mo, sabay ang singil sa iyo ng pera, si jenny na matandang lalaking nanghihngi lagi ng barya, mga taong nakahandusay sa tabi at may maliit na basong plastik mula sa mcdonalds na katapat nito. at sa araw araw na paglalakad mo dito, hindi mo na ito mapapansin.
ngunit sa araw na ito, iba ang tingin ng lola sa akinl. para bang nangungusap sa akin ang kanyang mga mata - "iho, konting tulong lang"di ko namalayang dumudukot na ko sa aking bulsa at naibigay ko na ang bente na sanay pamasahe ko pauwi. di ko nalang ito pinansin. diretso nalang ako sa hagdan paakyat ng LRT (na pinamumugaran din ng mga taong nabanggit ko) sa pag akyat ko, napaisip ako - "ano kaya ang pakiramdam ng mamuhay sa lansangan? ang gumising araw araw nang hindi alam kung paano ito matatapos, kung pano ako kakain. paano kung nagkasakit ako? paano kung sa isang araw ng paggising ko sa mga eskinita ng lansangan, nalaman kong mamatay na pala ako?"

maraming mga eksena ang naglaro sa isip ko. isang araw - paano ko ito gagamitin?kaya naman mula sa pag akyat ko sa LRT hanggang sa pag bili ko ng tiket at pag hihintay sa LRT, gumawa ako ng mga dapat kong gawin bago ako mamatay. marami ito. at pinagisipan ko talagang mabuti ito. mula vito cruz hanggang sa gil puyat at sa libertad, nagiisip ako. halos di ko na maramdaman ang mga taong bumabangga sa akin. siguro pag mamatay ka na, magiging parang isang panaginip ang mga pangyayari. parang ang buong paligid mo ay gumagalaw at ikaw ang nasa gitna, nagmamasid; parang mga isda sa akwaryum. lahat lumalaki at nagiiba ang hugis. at sabay ng ilusyong ito ang mga pangarap na parang natutunaw sa bawat paggalaw ng mga bagay sa paligid.

sa pagdating ng oras na ito:

1. tell my loved ones especially my siblings and
my mother how i love them as much as i could
2. to play a major part in a
musical
3. sing in front of a live audience
4. bungee jump
5. climb a
mountain and reach the summit
6. watch the sun set on manila bay
7. scuba
dive in any reef
8. go to italy and the vatican
9. go to france
10. go
to brazil
11. scream to the top of my lungs on top of eiffel tower
12. eat
buckets of ice cream
13. ride the longest and scariest roller coaster in the
world, but if worse comes to worst, ill be happy in enchanted's space
shuttle
14. watch a catterpillar spin its coccoon and wait for it to
emerge
15. catch a butterfly
16. teach a myna or a parrot to talk
17.
color my dog, honeybunch, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet at
the same time
18. ...

marami rami pa ang mga kasunod. ngunit siguro, hihinto muna ako sa mga ito..

the thing with long breaks

the thing with long breaks

my god. its been two long weeks since the start of my very long breaks. i hate it.

this is the time when we all think about things. and hell, have i been thinking up things. big things. too big for me to divulge.

ill post someday if i have the guts. but for now, lets just leave this at this.

sleepy

sleepy

im sleepy.. *yawn*
and im still here in school
what to do
i have a play to watch at 7
and its just 5
two hours
seems forever
but, heck, im stuck
im here
so i have to deal with it
pardon me

i should have gone home
but instead i stayed here
i should have slept
but instead i kept talking with friends
no complaints though
im just sleepy
and tired
and bored
and really hot
damn its hot in here..

gym rat

gym rat

its almost 1 am and i just came from the gym.. tama na tawa. basta yun, nag gym ako.. pero syempre right after kumain agad ako. kapagod no. try mo mag bench press, incline dumbell press at iba pang press sa katawan ko, tignan ko kung di kayo mapagod at magutom.
so we went straight to jollibee, and o, 24 hours na ang jollibee evangelista. so yun order galore ako. isang regular yum, coke, fries, pancit palabok pati yung bago nilang pocket pie na chicken something. basta masarap. ayun ubos ko lahat. at ubos din ang pagod ko sa kaka workout.
for today yun lang muna.. actually second ko to today.
pero may dag dag pa ko, nangaway pala ako ng employee ng GLOBAL CABLE kasi ba naman pinutulan kami ng cable. haller di naman sila nagpapadala ng mga bills and notices sakin. kapal. eh maraming beses ko na rin silang sinabihan ng schedule ko pra nasa bahay ako at ako mismo ang makatanggap ng bill. ewan ko ba sa mga tangan yon at hanggang ngayon, magdadalawang taon na akong naka subscribe sa kanila, 2 bills pa lang ang nakukuha ko, yung isa disconnection notice pa.. mga leche. binarurot ko tuloy siya ng english at di siya makasagot. dinagdagan ko pa ng mga hyfalluting words (tama ba spelling?). tapos tuwing magsasalita siya, bigla akong magsasalita na "EH ANO NAMAN NGAYON? DI YUN YUNG ISSUE, MALI ANG SAGOT MO!"syempre di niya na-carry at nag sorry nalang. ayan lumabas tuloy ang pagka RICARDO ko.. pero aanhin ko ang sorry? aanhin nga naman ng kabayo ang patay kung damo na siya. labo. malabo na utak ko.

sige na pwede na kayo mag comment sa tag board. sabihin niyo na lahat ng gusto niyong sabihin. otay? aight!
ciao!

dead bored

dead.bored

its the start of my second term today. just finished my 7 am accounting class. i got nothing to do so here i am in the lab doing this bored blog. there i said it. im bored. got nothin to do. and to think that i am going through the same routine every monday, wednesday and friday for the whole 3 months of my term. coolness. NOH?!

one day.isang araw

one day. isang araw

saturday: woke up at exactly 1:30 in the afternoon and still my eyes still feel like sleeping. but my mind told me that i should wake up or miss lunch. i woke up. i didnt feel like myself. well for the past week, i havent been feeling myself. maybe because i lack sleep or maybe because of the fact that classes are beginning this monday. back to reality.rewind.yesterday i woke up at exactly 5:30 in the morning. i was supposed to go to la salle to adjust my subjects. adjustments start at 8 but im there early because i want to be in a class that has only 5 slots left. so i left at 6 and was there by 6:20. i even ran after the taxi because i left my wallet inside. imagine running instantly from 0 kph to 40 kph. dont ask me, i just estimated. and yes i did get my wallet back. when i reached the conservatory where i am supposed to adjust, i was surprised that i was the first one in my college and the only person there was this girl from the college of liberal arts. di ko alam kung anong iisipin ko by that time pero natatawa ako sa babae kasi parang feeling ko wala naman dapat binabagsak sa CLA.. im not saying anything ah.. o well, so uupo dapat ako sa bench pero may naglilinis na janitor. i asked myself: "am i really THAT early??" so umupo ako sa may stairs malapit sa bench.. 6:30, still no people. kaya minabuti ko nalang na bumili ng kape sa mcdo at nagyosi sa tabi.. pampagising. pagbalik ko, surprise surprise.. ako pa rin ang tao. 6:45 may mga dumadating nang tao at mostly sa college ko. kaya di na ko umalis sa linya ko. i was still waiting for jd to come, magaadjust din kasi siya. dumating siya ng 8 am. from 7-8 nakaupo lang ako sa hagdan at nag iisip. sakit na nga ng puwet ko. at nagsisimula na ring sumikat ang araw. direkta sa inuupuan ko yung araw. bad trip. pero andun pa rin ako nakaupo kahit tagaktak ang pawis ko sa katutulo. i hate adjustments. feeling ko tuloy ng panahong yun, natatae ako na hindi. tinatamad na ko mag type kaya bibilisan ko na. so nakaadjust kami ng 9 tapos i got all the section that i wanted. whew. at least hindi nasayang yung gising ko. tapos sinamahan ko si jd sa casino tapos dumaan kami ng bahay tapos umalis ulit papuntang Avon para sa bra ni jd tapos pumunta sa building ng smart sa makati kasi kukunin ko yung book at ibibigya ko yung birth certificate ko sa tita ko for my passport. tapos umuwi kami para sunduin si yuri tapos punta kami ulit sa Avon para i claim yung bra. tapos punta kami ng Capt K sa bandang Manila domestic airport. hindi siya girly bar or anything, sinugba lang siya.. tapos umuwi kami tapos dapat punta kami sa wake ng lola ni patty, pero nailibing na pala nung isang araw. aanhin pa nga naman ang damo kung patay na ang kabayo? in our case, aanhin pa ang dalaw kung nailibing na pala ang patay? anyway so umuwi nalang kami. pagod na pagod ako.


fast rewind: last tuesday, nag gym ako.. oo seneryoso ko yung director sa agency na magpalaki ako ng katawan. sige tumawa kayo, pag lumaki katawan ko iuuntog ko kayo sa muscle ko. pramis yan. and masyado kong syang seneryoso at nanakit ang mga masel ko sa buong katawan na hindi ko man lang alam na meron pala. o well.. sige tawa pa. eto mas nakakatawa: kasabay ko yung vaseline boy sa gym, warren yata pangalan nun. labo. naisip ko, sikat na pala ang gym na pinupuntahan ko. taray.


fast forward: bukas punta kami sa bahay ni jd kasi may gagawin kami. secret nga lang. pero sa gagawin namin bukas, yung mga inimbita namin, di pa siguradong pupunta. patawa. ayun lang gusto ko lang sabihin. pati si ungga mag fo-floorwax sakin bukas. salamat. di na mukhang sahig yung sahig ko eh.
ayan. tapos na.
there.. shoo fly, dont bother me.. SHOO!

stupid la salle

stupid my.lasalle

ive just been from g4 to watch THE NOTEBOOK.. it was a sad story, but i knew it anyway coz i read it before.. spent 300 today.. thats too much for me..

and now its almost 2 and im freaking over my.lasalle here coz it is UBER SLOW!!! damn! i have to know the subjects which im adjusting tomorrow.. yes yes adjustments.. they make my college life a living hell.. well, apart from accounting ofcourse..

and now im still stuck in the first page of the freakin website.. damn, they put so many things here that our lowly computer cant do easily.. talk about a 33.4Kbps connection.. YAY! not...

im still waiting

and waiting...

wow.. it uploaded at last. only it says 'page cannot be displayed'

very nice..

i have to wake up at 6 am pa tomorrow .. damn..

summer lovin, happenned so fast...

first and foremost, i am not ranting, complaining or anything. lets just get that clear. its been exactly a week and 3 days of vacation, and still, i havent got anything accomplished. i havent cleaned the house, or even hired someone to clean it. i havent gone for a good break, i mean, a REAL vacation like go to somewhere where i can unwind and relax. i havent done anything to myself that excites me or at least that made me interested. all i ever did this 2 week long vacation is spend, spend and spend more. i cant believe that a thousand pesos couldnt last me a full 4-5 days. i dunno whats happenning (and they dont have a clue, theyll fall in love and heres the bottom line, our trios down to two, HEHEHEHE youre singing eh?!) but i just cant control my expenditures. now my academic life: i was able to get my coursecards last week and the grades made me happy, spare the commercial law and accounting. YEAH YEAH accounting again. i just hate that course and i dunno what im doing there - literally. dont you just hate it when everything, as in EVERYTHING is happenning just how you expect it to be except ONE DAMN THING that you cant control? dont tell me to study, been there, done that. and i dont like to sing my shoulda, woulda, coulda's now. accounting and bryan is just so wrong. i think whoever's reading this already KNOWS what happenned.. hihihihi.. but im not telling anyone.
and o, ill soon be a ninong! yay! first time ko eh.. on september 25. however, there are now 3 FERNAN's in the reyes' household. first is MOIR.. then some 16 years later, there is Louis Fernan.. then 4 years after there's FERNAN.. im still waiting for another Fernan though.. but i hope that next Fernan will exist long after I die, well maybe at least after i loose my social life.. as if i still have one! LOL..
o by the way, im so enjoying this revamping of my blog. and it kept me online for almost 5 hours just editing and looking for layouts that would fit me. i just hope that you enjoy the sights and sounds here..(" its like a total experience! " - ac girl)anyway im posting some more pics right now coz ive been trying to post pics since forever (if you read my past blogs, you would know), its just now that im able to... :) but i promise tthis will just be one pic.. or a couple.. or picSSS.. hehe.. (:

my mom and tita marita in cali


my stupid brother(right)

and this is the best one!


me and my cuz enzo!

hehe so thats it! shoo!

just trying out the pics.. well.. here it is..

i dont wanna put a title coz its title-less or maybe untitled, but i put that in already so its this

sheesh!
its been so long since i last posted here and things, both good and bad have happenned to me, countless if i might say. and it will be tiring for both you and me to put it all here for you to read.

HOWEVER, i can always just run through it. my finals for accounting and commercial law is over. i got my course cards yesterday. i started my 2week long vacation already and i got myself into an agency last saturday and had my very first casting last monday. yes yes yes. its so hilarious its pathetic, but i swear its true. *laughs really hard* and i firmly believe that i didnt get it. but whats more pathetic than that is that the director(i dont know how to call him/her) told me to beef up so he could enter me to the bodyshots. *laughs really harder* i swear i could have almost fallen off my seat when he said that. ok enough, im puking all over the place with what im saying here.

ANYWAY, vacation for me is really boring.(yeah listen to me rant again) but i like this better than not knowing what to do next for deadlines and quizzes and reports. just yesterday, after the coursecards, yuri and i met our friend rr and elisa in smb. we just went there and did nothing but at least i was able to see my friends again. we met them at a videoke booth and after that just sat and talked in a coffee shop. we bought a new keyboard and mouse and a mic. and oh, by the way, im so proud of yuri coz he passed all of his subjects! *YAY* then we got home. its friday night here and i sorta like to go out again, even if its just me, myself and i. but i chose to stay here in the house and just RELAX. however i cant. theres just too many things to do here. we havent cleaned the house since, ummm, december?! sheesh.. i mean i clean up every now and then but i really need to CLEAN the house - a general cleaning. stop.
one achievement i was able to reach was to read the da vinci code for just 1 and a half days. hehe.. now i regret doing that coz i have nothing more to read during my before-sleep and nothing-to-do-time.
ok this is it for me. ciao!

desperadong masaya

You are worth exactly: $1,692,650.00.

hmm.. pwede na..

last wednesday, i so wanted to use the internet for my email. i have to get the thesis and presentation for me to prepare for friday's defense. i connected everything to the computer - from the cable to the phone line to the plug - everything - the whole nine yards. but when it came to dialing the phone number of the internet, the message box would say that there is no dial tone. so, i checked the connections - it was perfect!
no dial tone
i checked the phone if it was not properly placed in the console - perfectly fine! then i got back at the computer and dialled again
no dial tone
i tried to undo the wires and cable again just to make sure everything was alright. i checked every end of the wires to see if they are plugged right
STILL no dial tone
just when i was about to give up, i tried to roll the phone line back in its place when i saw some very small wires peeking from the main line. THE FUCKING MICE!!!!the fucking mice chewed every little wire they saw and left just the black one! tangina gusto ko sila patayin lahat! bakit pa kasi my mga daga! leche sa buhay! they do nothing good at all!!so i had no choice.. i had to cut it clean and try to rewire it again. but hell, those wires were so tiny!! the cutter kept cutting them and if i dont stop i would end up cutting to the ends of the cord and cut myself in the process, too. i had to stop.
the longest phone cable i have left is the one im using for the phone. and its like just a meager .5 meter! hello!
im desperate!
so i moved the whole computer set to the living room. it wasnt at all easy mind you! i had to remove the cd rack from the computer table and make sure all the wires are in their proper places. because from where its currently placed, the wires are all crazy ang you just cant figure out what goes where.. oh well, the things i have to go through just to finish the marketing paper!
but in the end, just last friday was our defense.. and im so proud because the paper got an 88 and the presentation - which i made - got a 92. it should have been higher if my other groupmates didnt read directly from the powerpoint. well thats what my professor said. and i got an individual grade of 97! wow! and it was defense! haha..
now i just have to go through hell with my accounting finals.. but hey, NOW IM HAPPY! :)

poem3

people won't care how much you know until you they know how much you care..

__________________________________________... .. . .
come take my hand
we'll go to some place
never before seen
each step, we glide
through mountains
valleys and seas.
I'm not promising euphoria
it's even painful if you think
a place so dark
cold
we only have each other

it's so dark in here
you can hear the breath you breathe
everywhere you turn
it's pitch black
a steady rising air
a cold one
creeps through your very skin
it smells
it's hot, yet it's cold
you can feel your hair stand
holding your legs
moving through your thighs
pinching your every muscles
seeping through your skin
you could feel it inside
running through your veins
just as it rises through your lungs
it stops

pitch black

it's scary
emptiness
you then fall to the ground -
fast
you reach for the ground
hoping for something
looking
for something
you don't even know
you grab a mound of dirt
grasping it
then ate it
terrified
you spat it out

the walls you can't see
roars
deafening roars
it echoes in the very walls
of yourself
hollow

then a sudden gush of wind
a tear falls
euphoria
as tears roll down your face
your cheeks
your lips
your chin
then, to the dirt
seeps in
something grows
you dont know
it grows
it takes you by the arms
slowly
you scream

deafening silence

you scream
then it punctures
your chest
takes hold of your heart
no pain.

rips it out
you cry
no pain
you feel numb
no blood
it lifts you up
so fast
you can't breathe
you hold your heart in your palms
you wish to be dead
you rise

blinding light
life

then it thrusts you back
down and fast
faster than before
there you lay
almost breathless
nearing death
echoes...
murmurs...
rumblings...
silence.

come take my hand
we'll go to a place
where no one has been
its dark
its empty
its cold
its
me.

jan5,2004

back here

its been too long.. and i have some really nice thoughts to write but it would be long and now its gone.. so i would have to resort to the same shit again.. well not exactly, but the things im doing - youll all read..

today...
ok today i just had the biggest splurge of my life.. (well not really) i wrote here about the things im going through in marketing the past few weeks, well days.. and just yesterday, i finished the whole thing, which was supposed to be a group project, mind you.. so im really happy and more happy :) so today, i called my friend rr to go with me to watch a movie, well actually he invited me two days prior but i just said maybe after i finish the marketing stuff.. anyway i did so we went out to de-stress.. i found this as an excuse to get the PC fixed, as you know, ive been posting from home from a laptop i borrowed from a friend (to finish the marketing paper) imagine the things i have to go through just to finish a godamn paper.. anyway so i did got it fixed. and we ate. and wathced movies - take note, movieS (well its just two movies), and ate again and spent a hundred bucks going there. i had to use a taxi coz you dont expect me to carry the CPU around while riding a jeep.. and i also bought an anti fungal cream (you just guess what i need that for) but nonetheless, i bought one.
my friend and i met up at 12 and we finished at about 8 in the evening.. just about when i was talking my friend for dinner (coz he wont spend a dime on buying dinner AND lunch on the same day), i got a text from yuri telling me to go home as soon as possible coz her mother's gonna treat us.. so i did got home, in a taxi, and yes i brought the CPU home already.. just a run down on my expenses today sorry, i just realized now that i spent like half of my allowance for a week or so.. :( this is in good accounting format! wehehe!
taxi
total fare(80*2) 160
toll fee (20*2) 40 200
subtotal 200
pesto&drink for lunch 170
movies (65*2) 170
cofee time
coffee 50
cake 40 90
subtotal 630
smart credits 300
payment for tita dolly 500
CPU repair 800
payment for yuri 1000
GRAND TOTAL 3230

whew,i really hit it bigtime.. if my mom sees this, she's really gonna freak out.. i cant blame here, im freakin out, too!

i told you that im gonna write a lot today,but im tired now.. tomorrow's a fine day..
ciao!

a breath of fresh air

i was complaining about my boredom in the last posts.. i guess the guy up there is really up for some listening coz this past few days im not bored - i mean it.. and it means staying up late up to 3 am just to finish the paper.. im not complaining. i was even surprised and delighted in a way coz i did a major paper in 6 days and its not just some trashy paper - really.

and oh, i got some big news. remember the day when i posted about me having no plans at all coz i dunno if im leaving for the US this october? well im not going anymore.. the agency, INS (i think) gave my case 990 days before i can get my visa.. and that means 3 years.. and that also means i can finish my studies here and go on with my life for 3 more years.. i can get a job after i graduate (mccan get yourselves ready!) and then i would really be happy then..

ooh.. thats so nice to think about.. saarrRap!

and maybe before i get myself a job, ill take a really long breather (like 3 months) from everything.. ill do everything i so long wanted to do in those three months.. those three months will be the most memorable thing in my life! i swear! and im gonna start my writing then.. now im really getting at something here.. unlike before when i was like a dandelion that would just go where the wind will take it. i mean im not like that, diba friends? i really hate conformity.. i tend to go against the norms.. im a deviant. ok enough.

until here nalang muna mga pwens.. i know there are a lot of you guys that read the things i write here, the numbers show! (see page counter below) and i wanna thank you all for that! i might not be able to answer all your comments but its still cool!

INXS: im coming out with a poem and i dont know how to end it.. ill post it sometime after the presentation this wed! see y'all!

of marketing and vacation

im here again.. and im ranting again.. poor me.. nod, nod, nod.. *sigh*

im just starting my major paper in marketing and guess what, submission is this monday and presentation is on wednesday.. nice noh?! well, at least i am proud of what i have accomplished in just about, ermm, 5 hours of typing and staring in the computer along with reading and re-reading the articles and clippings..

whew.. breather:

tita guing is coming to manila this august, well not exactly to manila coz she is flying straight to cebu from japan.. and from there she is going to dumaguete.. oh how i miss dumaguete.. how i wish on just staying inside the house there and be a bum.. the house is quite big so i can do whatever i want whenever i want.. not that i cant do it here but, here, it's all the same.. and life here if very, very fast and at times depressing.. but hey, i can look forward to being there during my (listen to this!) 2 week break! YEAY! it's like christmas vacation!!!! cheers!! *jump jump*
when i get there, it will be the house, beach, sleep, eat, beach, house, sleep, eat and now i can party in the boulevard! now im really getting excited.. now if only i can get past through this marketing stuff and accounting shit then i can really be excited and it will be a whole lot F-U-N!! and another thing, my friends and i are also planning (and looking forward) to going to boracay.. wow, this is really fun! since i havent been in a pleasurable break since last christmas break.. kawawa naman ako.. hehe.. imagin, having gone through the third term and pushing for the summer term PLUS the first term.. tell me, dont i need a break?! hehe..

well it sounds like all a plan. then again, JUST a plan.. :)

it's official

its official.. IM TIRED AND EXHAUSTED..

my head is spinning
my stomach's churning
i havent ate anything since yesterday
my legs are beginning to go numb
my feet are getting hotter by the minute
my vision is blurring
dammit im tired

and im so tired that i cant go home.. im still in school and im here stuck infront of the computer with only my fingers moving.. my head, hand, legs, arms are not moving at all its pathetic.. yeah im pathetic - so deal with it. youre reading this right? then youre pathetic too! and this blog is pathetic coz it wouldnt post any pictures.. or maybe im the pathetic one since i dunno how to put pictures in this pathetic blog.. screw blogspot.. they wouldnt host pictures dammit..

im done

shoo!

T.G.I.F.

yes.. Yes.. YES!

it'f friday and i love it!

i just finished my law on partnership and corporation test (taray!) awhile ago i think i will get a high grade on that.. kasi ba naman kaka-acounting 2a ko palang.. that's about partnership and corporation but on the accounting side. but more or less i have a background already..

anyway, its friday night here and i still dont know how to spend it - either to to jd's house or watch a movie (i was really eyeing IMELDA since last week).. o well, whatever..

well im still here.

sometimes, i just dont know what to write here, so i guess ill just not be posting here for four days to get my head straight.. and when i get back, itll be so much better and bigger and whatever.. but its better alright..

i loved what pres wrote on her blog < www.xanga.com/fweakish > about the american thingy and the previous one.. pres: i just hope you dont get your job till forever so i can read more about your experiences there.. hmmm.. parang i can smell the great u.s of a. na from here! o well, gotta wait till october when i get the answer from the INS if i could go there.. geesh! my life has been 'future-less' and 'plan-less' eversince my mother said that i might be going to the US before i turn 21. and that would be on october pa.. so i couldnt move - i dont know if i will continue studying here or make plan after study or maybe during study.. whatever i just wish its october so i could at least plan my life ahead. well, i have two plans though

1. if i go the US this october, ill be filing my leave of absence from school for two years and work there and maybe i can pay my own tuition when i get back (that is if DLSU would not be raising the fees)
2. if i dont go to the US, ill probably be doing everything i can to be active in my marketing and advertising org so i could put that in my resume.. i want to have my OJT in mckan-errickson (did i spell that right?) or maybe JWalter Thompson or at least BBDO-Ortega.. whatever.. right now i just want to work and stay away from school.. hehe :)

okay, this is long.. ill probably be going to the university mall and meet my friends there and do whatever in 5..
4..
3..
2..
1..
ciao!

and the music continues

yesterday i wrote about how fast paced our lives are - well at least for me.

just today, and it 2:00 am already, I am here in my friend's house, on a tuesday night/wednesday morning, trying to help him with the design of his posters and fliers and whatever else for his course...

now im done im back here.. wondering what to write.. and the thing is, my rule here is JUST TO WRITE.. so i am writing you this:









exactly. i have nothing to write because my mind isnt working properly anymore. im tired and sleepy and tired and sleepy. so i have to end this.

now, go away.

did i say i was tired and sleepy?

buhos, ulan, buhos

wala akong balak magsulat dito, pero katatapos pa lamang ng aking klase ng alas siete ng gabi at pag labas ko ng silid, grabe ang ulan.. feel kong kumanta kasama si regine sa amphi.. gagawa kami ng music video.. duet kami.. kabaliwan..

dati nung bata pa ko, ayokong ayokong umuulan.. dahil dyahe ang ulan pag feel na feel mong makipag habulan sa mga kalaro mo habang tuwang tuwa naman ang uhog mo sa pag tulo mula sa ilong mo.. gusto mong lumaban sa pabilisan ng takbo at pabilisan ng bike at paggalingan ng grades, pataasan ng talon at minsan, kahit na sa nanay ko lang to narinig, nakakita na rin ako ng mga batang nagpapataasan ng ihi.. lahat yun dapat magaling ka. pero pag umulan, sorry nalang. pantay pantay kayong mga talunan sa ilalim ng bubong ng isang bahay o ng isang tindahang inutangan mo na ng kendi.
pero ngayon, ayoko ng ulan.. di ako makakauwi ng maaga. mahirap mag commute. malayo layo pa ang lalakarin ko papunta sa jeep na sinasakyan ko. ni hindi nga ako makalabas ng building. lalo pa ngayon na nakikipag contest ako sa aso ko sa pagtahol at sa pinsan kong bata sa pag singa ng uhog. stranded ako dito..

ngayon, masarap matulog. masarap magpahinga. masarap kumain. masarap ang hindi maghabol - sa deadline ng report, thesis, papers, recitations, grades at pati oras. kung pwede mo lang pigilan ang bawat pag ikot ng mga kamay sa orasan siguro matagal mo nang ginawa yun. pero hindi pwede yun. kailangan itong umikot sa ayaw at sa gusto mo. may sarili syang kumpas na sinusunod, sariling musikang sinasayawan. habang ikaw sumasayaw sa musika ng pagsusumikap at kumpas ng panahon. lagi kang gahol sa oras. minsan kung iisipin ko, para rin tayong mga bata na lumaki. kasi sa ating mundo ngayon, kailangan pa rin tayong makipag paggalingan. pabilisan matapos ang lahat. pabilisan sa pag asenso, paggalingan sa trabaho, palakihan ng bahay, pataasan ng sweldo, paramihan ng kotse, paramihan ng degree.. lahat competitive. lahat ng ito'y pilit mong sinasayawan hanggan sa minsan di ka na makahinga. para kang unti unting lumulubog at pilit mong pinapadyak ang mga paa at kamay mo pero sadya kang lumulubog. sa mga panahong ito, nais mong makarating sa ibabaw at makahigop ng hangin.. ang pinakamahalagang bagay sa yo ngayon ay hangin..

at ikaw ay huminga - nagpahinga..
bigla mong naranasan ang pag luwag ng iyong dibdib. ang paghinga ng maganda at malalim.

you were able to exhale.
lahat ng hirap mo, naihinga mo na. naisuka mo na. at nailabas mo na lahat ng mga frustrations mo.

kaya ako nandito, sa maliit na computer lab, sa loob ng isang silid, sa ilalim ng isang building, habang hinihintay ang pagtila ng ulan, nagpapahinga - humihinga.


bukas bagong musika, bagong kumpas, bagong araw..

fat michaels place - bangkal

hello peeps..

i should warn you that starting from today, whatever movie i watch, whatever food i eat, whatever place i go to, i would rate them! hehe.. for movies ill give tickets - 5 tickets down to 1 ticket.. for food ill give spoons and for anything else ill give stars.. (ok i know this is just the corniest but please please bear with me, im a frustrated writer)

since i have nothing else to do i guess i just have to tell you about what happenned to me last night.. yuri, jd and myself went to fat michaels place.. its just near our house. we were planning to go there since forever. however, because of some things that i just would not want to ennumerate, we were not able to. it was just last night that we decided to go there. and it was funny if you think about it because for so long we were planning to go there and just last night, when jd said that we should eat there, we finally did. so we were there.

it was so cool! coolness! hahaha! the interiors were a mix of country, home and bohemian.. it was a very intimate place. so intimate that you have to reserve before you can eat there. i think there were a lot of personalities who went there already. just last night, chico (of chico and delamar) was there and guess what - he was with his boyfriend! hehe, they were holding hands.. ewww.. well anyway, so there it was really good..
but what struck me most was the prices of the food they serve there! wow.. who would ever think that businesses in bangkal would charge a hundred pesos for a plate of food! hehe! but the price was somehow overshadowed by the taste of the food. it was really good.
ok this is getting long, ill make it short:
parking: 1 spoon
there really is no parking space except for the street in which it stands
accomodation: 4 spoons
there was this lola there who can really get personal with you. ergo, you feel just at like you were at your friend's house (i say that because my house can never look like that)
interior design/atmosphere: 4 1/2 spoons
like i said, it was so cozy and intimate and warm.. just the perfect place to chill out
food: 4 spoons
the food was great but the serving was a little small for me
price: 2 spoons
to have a good meal, you may spend from 175 - 250 pesos. a little much than your average pinoy can afford.

overall i would rate them 3 1/2 spoons

ok you can go on with your life now.. :)