tonight i'm giving in

Fine. Papatulan ko ang gabi at ang mga bagay na tumatakbo sa isip ko.

I remember you telling me that I no longer smile as much as I did the first few times we've been together. You said that I worry too much. That I think too much. Maybe I did that time.

I know I still want to be with you that time. But the not knowing part of you not telling me the entire truth bothered me. Even with the little things kasi, you lie about it. When you told me that, I was already at a point where I feel as if I no longer know you. As if I was unsure about the things you say about yourself, about how your day went, about how you spent your week. Yes, the time you told me that, it was true -- I was no longer smiling the way I usually did.

It wasn't always like that.

I gave you my complete, unabashed, untainted trust when we first met. Yeah, maybe I found you a little arrogant at times, but I completely believed in you. Even when I was fighting the feeling of not giving in to your promises of forever and not ever being apart starting then, you know, I know and I can't deny that I actually did. Too much in fact that I gave in completely. I pushed away all the thoughts of "what if's" that was gnawing through my head every time I find myself in solitude and think about those promises.

I was smiling then. I kept thinking how lucky I was to have found something that's real and that makes me happy. Maybe I was love struck. But who cares? I didn't then. All I knew then was that we loved each other so much we can't do anything to change that. Not even if we tried. I love you and you love me and that's all that matters. Mattered.

Strong is the rock that stands steadfastly amidst the lashing waves of the ocean. But strong and magnificent and beautiful as it is, it erodes.

So did my trust.

I wish I could have smiled then. I wish I could've just maybe faked one. And then maybe you wouldn't have asked. You wouldn't have told me I wasn't smiling anymore.

Maybe I wouldn't remember it tonight, humid and hot as it is. But you're no longer here. I'm not sure if I still know you. Like how I felt I didn't know you then.

Ciao.

okay.

... so my fuse has gotten shorter lately.

so what? fuck off and leave me alone.

my heart

is heavy. =[

.

Late Monday jeezy

... uhh, yeah. Whatever that means.

Anyhoo, just saw this tonight. It's flooded my Facebook wall. My love affair with Bruno Mars' music started last year when I heard Marry You.

This, The Lazy Song, is my second most favorite track. I was bumming at my mom's room in Dumaguete doing absolutely nothing and just listening to this when I fell in love with the track. So first this song. Then this video. Purrfect!

just a feel good song!

ciao!

Monday randomness

Dear lady who sat beside me today,

It is not my obligation to give your payment to the driver, no. The act of passing the payment in the jeepney is never an obligation. Rather, a matter of "pagmamagandang loob."

So aside from not saying "paki" or please, not saying thank you makes you audacious and assuming and downright rude. Not to mention the manner in which you literally dropped your coins on my hand (which by that time was already overflowing with other gracious passengers' coins) causing all the coins in it to almost scatter on the floor.

OK, so you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, as you told the person who called you right after you did that to me. I don't fucking care. It's a fucking Monday morning that we all have to fucking go through.

Thank goodness I wasn't that rude yet to shove all your coins in your cunt.

PS. Fuck you.

Sincerely,

Bryan

-----

So I woke up early today to shut my boss up. Got in the training room at exactly 8 in the morning. Woopee. Yay. FML.

BUT, weirdly enough, I have lots of energy today. Morning training went really well. =)

Looking forward to the coming Holy Week weekend. =)

ciao!

Today

Today is a well of all things viral, virtual, and videos.

Yeah, I know. From THAT annoyinglyhorrible music video I'm not even gonna mention.

This sorta looks like my ideal food pyramid.

Now, here's a set of FREAKISHLY AMAZING AND ENTERTAINING cheering videos from Japan. God I love them, I swear.

THEY'RE ALL GIRLS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS JUST HUMANLY IMPOSSIBLE.

OH. MY. GOD.

------------

On a more serious note, I just did something new yesterday. Check this out. Can you guess?

So refreshing!

randomness

Found this on the beach.

Funny conversation:

Me: “Miss, where can I buy bottled water?”

Staff: “ Sir you can buy it in Meaty Mart.”

Me: “Is it far?”

Staff: “No sir, just a few meters away from the hotel. You can also try Sweet and Sassy.”

Me: “Okay, thank you!”

Ten minutes and a tricycle ride after, a sign greeted me: Mighty Mart Grocery

Overheard in the gym:

Guy 1: “Pare kanina ka pa text ng text dyan eh, buhat na!”

Guy 2: (Walks toward the equipment, still texting) “Teka pare, pera ‘to eh… Aanhin ko ang magandang katawan kung wala naman akong pamasahe bukas.”

Hahaha, nahulog ko tuloy yung buhat ko.

_____

The God of Small Things... like reading

I can't finish my book. Ugh. It's a bit harder than I thought. And I thought it's gonna be another fast read. Wrong. There are some parts of the book that read like a normal narrative. Then suddenly, without warning, it changes, as to how to call it, I don't know. The only thing I know is that it changes. Quite frequently. And that's where I become blank. It's just after reading two pages more that I'll notice that it just doesn't make sense to me. So I go back all over again. I can just put it down and read another book, but I don't want to lose whatever patience momentum patience I still have left. The last time I did that, I never went back to read the book again.

So there. I hope I finally finish this na. It's been a month already for a book that's not that thick.

ciao!

it's all i do

work.

i have very little time for social life and usually i'm with my closest friends. it's not bad.

it's not good either.

for my love life lang naman.

yeah.

that.

i'm sad.

p.s. another useless post from me.