if i ever lose my faith in you

i was riding the MRT on the way home and sting was on my ipod. the melody is so nostalgic and the lyrics are reminiscent of the good ole days. search for the lyrics.

unattainable.

i am sensing a pattern:

is it just the idea of the unattainable?


fuck it.

of endings, realizations, and looking back

i've reached the end. the countdown is complete. 'twas nothing short of a miracle that i was able to manage myself throughout that countdown. counting backwards is easy. you begin with a certain number and you end up in the absolute zero. i'm not sure though if i should start counting again from zero -- which we know has an infinite ending.

lucky seven, ikaw ba yan?

========================

Somewhere between the hours of wake and lalaland, a friend made me realize something that I think I’ve already known before -- things will never be the same again, period. I was bruised and in pain, battered and broken, hopeful and destroyed, assuming and in denial that I was either too naïve or jaded to actually see it. However, as truthful and as painful as it may sound, I still have my history to (not hold on to, but) look back to. He made me realize that what I had was something so beautiful and no person, orc, mutant, or mongrel can take it away from me. It was something pure, personal, and something just… beautiful! I just needed that special lens to view it in that perspective.

We discussed a lot of things that, when I replay everything in my mind, I also realized that I needed to say things out loud for it to be real and I be reassured.

Basta, in that conversation, I was able to look for the missing pieces and it just needs me to make sure that everything fits perfectly.

Thank you for that, my friend.

ciao!

papa's day

uncooperative

ang panahon ayaw makicooperate -- malamig, mahangin, umuulan.

sinong hindi maaasar?

sabado, gabi, tahimik. leche.


oo leche ka, nakakapikon ka na. nagmomodang emo na ko dahil naiisip ko doormat ako.
pero tama na ang emote, tama na rin ang drama mo. ayawan na.

the un-happening

i can't believe i wasted almost two hours watching the unhappening.

m. night shyamalan should have stopped on the sixth sense. all the next movies were just lame. including this. boooooooo.

lame. lame. lame. lame. lame. lame.

ugh.

clairvoyant

may ESP pala ako kahit papano.

kaya basahin mo ang isip ko:






kuha mo?

please?

so kelan?

i'm still here. i'll always be here. don't be that long.

homecoming

*tear*

ang sarap lang isipin.

ciao!

a mad, mad world

it was a very long time since i was so excited to watch a movie (maybe part of the reason is that i don't watch movies that often anymore). and most of the time, the in-your-face marketing propaganda does not live up to expectations.

i just watched the dark knight this evening and my god, the hype didn't do justice to it at all. i can say that this is the best superhero movie i have ever watched. the movie is just brilliant.
the movie takes us into gotham city and reintroduces us to the culture, morals, and ethics of its city (which i think mirror all the demons society is facing today -- superficial morality, terrorism, politics, and social ethics). though, i was a bit surprised that the mood is not that dark and heavy as almost all of the batman movies were, after the movie you feel just as dark and intense.

the most notable performance were actually of heath ledger as the joker. his take on the joker is by far the best -- completely outshining jack nicholson's portrayal of the same character. he takes us into his character's psyche and sometimes, even offering an explanation as to why he is the villain. his performance is so brilliant; those nuances like the slight bob of the head, the intensity of his stare, the unconscious licking of the lips, and even those few comic one-liners (which actually has very heavy implications).
what i like best about the movie is the way it tried to explain why batman, the hero and joker, the villain need each other. gotham is so dark, mysterious, disturbing, and mad. as the quote says, "in this mad, mad world, only the mad are sane." role reversals and role redemptions should not be uncommon.
anyway, these are a few of my favorite lines

Batman: Why do you want to kill me?
The Joker: I don't want to kill you. What would I do without you?

(to Batman)
The Joker: ... you complete me.

The Joker: Introduce a little anarchy... Upset the established order... Well then everyone loses their minds!

go watch!

ciao!

mad world - gary jules

this is a great song. period.

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world

i-robot

gusto kong maging robot. sa isang pindot lang may lalabas na laser gun sa kamay ko. sa isang tapik sa gilid, my bubuka sa likod ko at maglalabas ng isang malaking pakpak na gawa sa bakal -- yung may mga komplikadong tornilyo at yung umiilaw din. pag may gusto akong gawin, ipo-program ko lang sa system ko at wala akong gagamitin kundi ang isip ko, tapos gagawin na ng mga umuusling mga bagay sa katawan ko. maganda din kung kaya kong makarinig ng mga tunog (at isama na rin ang mga usapan ng mga tao) hanggang kung saan ko gusto. ok rin kung meron akong bionic eye -- may x-ray vision, telescopic vision, photographic at lomo vision. oo gusto ko ng lomo vision kasi mas masaya at maganda ang mga bagay bagay kung sasadyain kong baguhin ang mga kulay nito at ihulma sa sarili kong imahinasyon kung pano siya tatatak sa isip ko. kaya ko naman gusto ng xray ay hindi para maghanap buhay ng x-ray na parang clinic malapit dun sa kanto namin. iba ang x-ray na gusto ko, gusto ko yung nakikita ko yung kalooban ng tao. yung nakikita ko kung pano pumoporma ang mga titik sa utak niya bago pa man siya magsalita, pati yung mga notang iniisip niya at mga tunog, kulay, at kahit panaginip na iniisip ng taong nasa harap ko.

mahirap kasing maging tao. masyadong pasakit ang mga bagay bagay. eh kung may "off" button ang mga yun, mas masaya na ang mundo. wala na sanang giyera sa iraq, wala nang papatay ng mga tao, wala na ring magnanakaw ng mga cellphones, at may world peace. dahil lang yan sa isang "off" button sa katawan mo. at kapag tao ka, nalalason ang systema mo sa kakaisip ng mga bagay bagay na alam mo namang tatawanan mo lang rin sa huli. kaya naman pag rumo-robot ako, dapat ding lagyan ng anti-virus para mawala na ang mga nakakalason at nakakasira ng sistemang mga pagmu-muni-muni at pagtatanong sa sarili.
diba? mas masayang maging robot. may world peace ka na, may peace of mind ka pa. devoid ka pa sa kahit anong mga sakit-sakitan o kaya iyak-iyakan o kaya fake-fake-an at kung ano-ano pang mga emosyon na meron na, nangyayari pa lang, at mangyayari pa lang.

ay, robot?!

remnants

this is dumaguete 08 -- the beach.

by far, this is THE MOST BORING-EST dumaguete evar. evar!

click pic for moar!

ciao!

what is wrong with YOU?

what the fuck is wrong with you?! you were asking for a chance and when you finally got it, you fuck it up! panay ka reklamo eh ikaw naman din ang nagdadala niyan sa sarili mo. magulo isip mo. the next time na humiling ka ng mga bagay, siguraduhin mong handa ka sa mga dapat mong gawin! hindi yung panay ka paspecial, dahil hindi ka special. the bus will never wait for you!

it's just irritating because you always complain on things you are NOT even ready for. now, look at what you've done. this game you're playing is not fun anymore. it's beginning to be repetitive and it's getting old and it's getting utterly annoying. seriously.

so just please, don't go out in the sun when you're not ready to get sun-burnt. don't go on wishing for things to happen when you're not ready to handle it. don't start planning when, in the first place, you don't even want to go. don't even think about anything when you still have a lot of issues you have to deal with first. damn it. you suck, big time. you know what you should do?? get a freakin' life!

you spoil everything!

apparently, simple and laid-back things can get complicated and a wee bit stressful. also, a triangle has three sides, three corners, and has a total of 180 degrees, which could also mean a complete turnaround if i wanted to make directions out of it. then there's this story of pebbles, rocks, and stones. oh my, look at that, three again. if before we say "it takes two," shall we say "it takes three" now? on the other hand, nonsensical thoughts are always fun.

confused? man, during these days, who isn't?

my cousin broke my tripod. the tripod i bought which almost cost me an arm and a leg. it couldn't be fixed anymore. i want/need my d-slr now. i've already bought accessories, right tin? i'm still in the middle of cleaning up the mess. i still couldn't find my cap -- mom where'd you put it? it's raining today and i want to sleep. i missed mass because of the weather. natatawa ako kasi sabi dun sa mga quotable quotes: "putangina mo, hindi mo kasi alam ang nararamdaman ng naghihintay!" boom! oo nga, taenamu! hahahahaha. bibili lang ako ng yosi, brb.
aymbaaackkk!!! huy, ikaw, oo ikaw, anong ginagawa mo? alam mo bang kanina pa ko naghihintay? shiyet.
uy, may box. tae nabasa na siya ng ulan. haha ngayon ko lang naalala, hindi ko pala kayo napagsilbihan ng lunch, pasensya na at hindi ako sanay ng may bisita, ako lang nasa bahay parati. kelan mauulit? mamaya? hahaha. wag muna, dami pa ko gagawin.
CR BREAKKKK!!!!!
kasama yata ng pagbabawas ko ang pagbabawas ng uma-abnormal kong line of thoughts. oha oha. osiya, paalam.

pero bago yun, pumikchur muna tayo. kagabi lang to. biglaan. bahay na bahay ang dating ko, sando at boxers. walang pakelamanan.

ciao!

signs of the times

there are just times that you tell yourself that you just have to do it. as to how, when, and why, you leave those to fate.

sometimes, too, you only need one good reason.

ciao!

.

why didn't you even tell me? i was there on the boulevard, sitting. the waves were very weak that day, it was so serene. amidst the bustling crowd and the busy streets, i didn't feel anything but a certain calmness in my being. the cool south winds were caressing my cheeks but it was warm and comforting.

i never knew it was coming. i was not aware of it - no warnings.

it was, after all, what they say about the calm before the storm.

i've got to admit, i am hurt.