Tuesday, March 27, 2007

happy 18th birthday janna!

Monday, March 26, 2007

ready for love

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here
ready for love, i. arie

i am ready for love. yes, we're talking about love life. my friend sha and i were just talking about something when the subject of love came up. i am ready for love. i think this is my affirmation. but i am not searching for it. i don't plan on it. i don't like anyone to try to make things happen. i want it to be special. i want love to find me. i want the person to just suddenly come to my life, and i to come to the person's life, as well. they say love finds its way. i'm waiting to be found. i'm walking, but not searching. i'm wanting, but not expecting. i guess, for the longest time, i can say, i'm ready for love.

epilogue
"when you hurt as much, you can't get hurt twice." - breaking and entering

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

of sirens and fire trucks

it's been almost 30 minutes now since i've heard the fire trucks' sirens going on and off. i've just come from the terrace and in just a minute, i think there were 8 fire trucks running along the main street just a block away from my house. fire trucks and ambulances. all honking and sounding their sirens.

with the auditory overload of sirens going on and the continuous revving of fire trucks on the streets, i feel as if there is an impending danger - a danger that is devoid of any sense other than what i am hearing. i can't help but be nervous and a bit terrified. and there's another army of firetrucks again flying down the streets.

i prayed that there will be no one hurt. i prayed that if there were people hurt, recovery will be upon them in no time. i prayed that should there be houses burnt, there will somewhere that they can stay in until the time they get their lives on track.

i can still remember the weeks just after my father died. there were no ambulances present when he was rushed to the hospital. or if there were, i did not know because i was in school. it's the ugly thought that whenever i hear sirens at night, i prayed so hard that it will never be my mother in that ambulance who was often out at night. out not to have a good time. rather, to forget everything. i can still remember the feeling of the cold slowly going up my spine whenever i lay at night trying to disregard that ugly thought. i can still feel the foreboding terror. and all i do is pray, pray, pray.

i still hear the sirens. people are now on the streets with their night shirts on trying to see and talk about what is happenning. dogs are barking still at the seemingly annoying sounds. it's been over 40 minutes now.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

the normal rounds

the normal rounds

and yet another round of genital and anal violation. not that violation, you perve! i just came home from another round of medical exams. fuck i've never been medically examined for 3 times in a span of less than 12 months! go figure. and for the first time in my whole semi-damned life, someone touched and pressed and pinched my privates. not exactly my cup of tea especially if you are butt naked (hmm) on a cold black leather (erotic huh!) bed by a gloved (and another sexually related term) semi-obese doctor. damn. funny, though, that when he was doing the stethoscope check on my heart, he said, ".. kinakabahan ka.. sus, check up lang to" i just put on my ngiting aso. CHECK UP?!?! OK KA LANG, DOC? MATAPOS MONG HAWAKAN AT BULATLATIN ANG MGA KA-KUWANAN KO?!?!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

stop.

in other news, it was macky's birthday yesterday and i PLANNED on greeting him on the latest hour. so in the middle of the day, he texted me with: pakyu ka, mga pakulo mong babatiin mo ko mamayang gabi para ikaw kunyari ang last nagtext. lumang style na yan! alam ko na yan!
i laughed so hard because... because... period. so come the last hour i texted him this.

macky, today will inevitably be over. but as eternal as its changing, our friendship will definitely live on. happy birthday, macky!! god bless..

i woke up today receiving this: pakyu dahil sa pakulo mo tuluyan mo na kong di na-greet!
HAHAHAHHAHA.. sorry macky i was using chikka that's why you might have not received it. sorry macky to the nth level. but i posted it here, so voila!

in other, other news, i am now a happy customer. just look!

(click image to see larger)

PAKSHET DIBA?!?!?! I EVEN SURPASSED THE T1 SPEED!!!!!!!
i just downloaded the torrents for desperate houswives and gilmore girls - for 30 FUCKING MINUTES ONLY!!! damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my gas, happy customer ako ng globe por da pers taym!!! mamatay kayo sa inggit! mga 2 hours na siyang ganyan hahahahahahahaha!

ciao!

Thursday, March 8, 2007

300

prepare for glory!

omg. no words can describe how riveting, fanstastic, stimulating, great, wonderful and every superlative word this movie is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pure stunning powerful imagery! damn. watch it!


this is the only violent movie that made me not wince but wide-eyed during the whole barbaric acts. an arm thrown, a leg slashed, and a head decapitated can be a wonderful and magical work of art. damn. damn. damn.

just please watch it!

wahoo!