desperadong masaya

You are worth exactly: $1,692,650.00.

hmm.. pwede na..

last wednesday, i so wanted to use the internet for my email. i have to get the thesis and presentation for me to prepare for friday's defense. i connected everything to the computer - from the cable to the phone line to the plug - everything - the whole nine yards. but when it came to dialing the phone number of the internet, the message box would say that there is no dial tone. so, i checked the connections - it was perfect!
no dial tone
i checked the phone if it was not properly placed in the console - perfectly fine! then i got back at the computer and dialled again
no dial tone
i tried to undo the wires and cable again just to make sure everything was alright. i checked every end of the wires to see if they are plugged right
STILL no dial tone
just when i was about to give up, i tried to roll the phone line back in its place when i saw some very small wires peeking from the main line. THE FUCKING MICE!!!!the fucking mice chewed every little wire they saw and left just the black one! tangina gusto ko sila patayin lahat! bakit pa kasi my mga daga! leche sa buhay! they do nothing good at all!!so i had no choice.. i had to cut it clean and try to rewire it again. but hell, those wires were so tiny!! the cutter kept cutting them and if i dont stop i would end up cutting to the ends of the cord and cut myself in the process, too. i had to stop.
the longest phone cable i have left is the one im using for the phone. and its like just a meager .5 meter! hello!
im desperate!
so i moved the whole computer set to the living room. it wasnt at all easy mind you! i had to remove the cd rack from the computer table and make sure all the wires are in their proper places. because from where its currently placed, the wires are all crazy ang you just cant figure out what goes where.. oh well, the things i have to go through just to finish the marketing paper!
but in the end, just last friday was our defense.. and im so proud because the paper got an 88 and the presentation - which i made - got a 92. it should have been higher if my other groupmates didnt read directly from the powerpoint. well thats what my professor said. and i got an individual grade of 97! wow! and it was defense! haha..
now i just have to go through hell with my accounting finals.. but hey, NOW IM HAPPY! :)

poem3

people won't care how much you know until you they know how much you care..

__________________________________________... .. . .
come take my hand
we'll go to some place
never before seen
each step, we glide
through mountains
valleys and seas.
I'm not promising euphoria
it's even painful if you think
a place so dark
cold
we only have each other

it's so dark in here
you can hear the breath you breathe
everywhere you turn
it's pitch black
a steady rising air
a cold one
creeps through your very skin
it smells
it's hot, yet it's cold
you can feel your hair stand
holding your legs
moving through your thighs
pinching your every muscles
seeping through your skin
you could feel it inside
running through your veins
just as it rises through your lungs
it stops

pitch black

it's scary
emptiness
you then fall to the ground -
fast
you reach for the ground
hoping for something
looking
for something
you don't even know
you grab a mound of dirt
grasping it
then ate it
terrified
you spat it out

the walls you can't see
roars
deafening roars
it echoes in the very walls
of yourself
hollow

then a sudden gush of wind
a tear falls
euphoria
as tears roll down your face
your cheeks
your lips
your chin
then, to the dirt
seeps in
something grows
you dont know
it grows
it takes you by the arms
slowly
you scream

deafening silence

you scream
then it punctures
your chest
takes hold of your heart
no pain.

rips it out
you cry
no pain
you feel numb
no blood
it lifts you up
so fast
you can't breathe
you hold your heart in your palms
you wish to be dead
you rise

blinding light
life

then it thrusts you back
down and fast
faster than before
there you lay
almost breathless
nearing death
echoes...
murmurs...
rumblings...
silence.

come take my hand
we'll go to a place
where no one has been
its dark
its empty
its cold
its
me.

jan5,2004

back here

its been too long.. and i have some really nice thoughts to write but it would be long and now its gone.. so i would have to resort to the same shit again.. well not exactly, but the things im doing - youll all read..

today...
ok today i just had the biggest splurge of my life.. (well not really) i wrote here about the things im going through in marketing the past few weeks, well days.. and just yesterday, i finished the whole thing, which was supposed to be a group project, mind you.. so im really happy and more happy :) so today, i called my friend rr to go with me to watch a movie, well actually he invited me two days prior but i just said maybe after i finish the marketing stuff.. anyway i did so we went out to de-stress.. i found this as an excuse to get the PC fixed, as you know, ive been posting from home from a laptop i borrowed from a friend (to finish the marketing paper) imagine the things i have to go through just to finish a godamn paper.. anyway so i did got it fixed. and we ate. and wathced movies - take note, movieS (well its just two movies), and ate again and spent a hundred bucks going there. i had to use a taxi coz you dont expect me to carry the CPU around while riding a jeep.. and i also bought an anti fungal cream (you just guess what i need that for) but nonetheless, i bought one.
my friend and i met up at 12 and we finished at about 8 in the evening.. just about when i was talking my friend for dinner (coz he wont spend a dime on buying dinner AND lunch on the same day), i got a text from yuri telling me to go home as soon as possible coz her mother's gonna treat us.. so i did got home, in a taxi, and yes i brought the CPU home already.. just a run down on my expenses today sorry, i just realized now that i spent like half of my allowance for a week or so.. :( this is in good accounting format! wehehe!
taxi
total fare(80*2) 160
toll fee (20*2) 40 200
subtotal 200
pesto&drink for lunch 170
movies (65*2) 170
cofee time
coffee 50
cake 40 90
subtotal 630
smart credits 300
payment for tita dolly 500
CPU repair 800
payment for yuri 1000
GRAND TOTAL 3230

whew,i really hit it bigtime.. if my mom sees this, she's really gonna freak out.. i cant blame here, im freakin out, too!

i told you that im gonna write a lot today,but im tired now.. tomorrow's a fine day..
ciao!

a breath of fresh air

i was complaining about my boredom in the last posts.. i guess the guy up there is really up for some listening coz this past few days im not bored - i mean it.. and it means staying up late up to 3 am just to finish the paper.. im not complaining. i was even surprised and delighted in a way coz i did a major paper in 6 days and its not just some trashy paper - really.

and oh, i got some big news. remember the day when i posted about me having no plans at all coz i dunno if im leaving for the US this october? well im not going anymore.. the agency, INS (i think) gave my case 990 days before i can get my visa.. and that means 3 years.. and that also means i can finish my studies here and go on with my life for 3 more years.. i can get a job after i graduate (mccan get yourselves ready!) and then i would really be happy then..

ooh.. thats so nice to think about.. saarrRap!

and maybe before i get myself a job, ill take a really long breather (like 3 months) from everything.. ill do everything i so long wanted to do in those three months.. those three months will be the most memorable thing in my life! i swear! and im gonna start my writing then.. now im really getting at something here.. unlike before when i was like a dandelion that would just go where the wind will take it. i mean im not like that, diba friends? i really hate conformity.. i tend to go against the norms.. im a deviant. ok enough.

until here nalang muna mga pwens.. i know there are a lot of you guys that read the things i write here, the numbers show! (see page counter below) and i wanna thank you all for that! i might not be able to answer all your comments but its still cool!

INXS: im coming out with a poem and i dont know how to end it.. ill post it sometime after the presentation this wed! see y'all!

of marketing and vacation

im here again.. and im ranting again.. poor me.. nod, nod, nod.. *sigh*

im just starting my major paper in marketing and guess what, submission is this monday and presentation is on wednesday.. nice noh?! well, at least i am proud of what i have accomplished in just about, ermm, 5 hours of typing and staring in the computer along with reading and re-reading the articles and clippings..

whew.. breather:

tita guing is coming to manila this august, well not exactly to manila coz she is flying straight to cebu from japan.. and from there she is going to dumaguete.. oh how i miss dumaguete.. how i wish on just staying inside the house there and be a bum.. the house is quite big so i can do whatever i want whenever i want.. not that i cant do it here but, here, it's all the same.. and life here if very, very fast and at times depressing.. but hey, i can look forward to being there during my (listen to this!) 2 week break! YEAY! it's like christmas vacation!!!! cheers!! *jump jump*
when i get there, it will be the house, beach, sleep, eat, beach, house, sleep, eat and now i can party in the boulevard! now im really getting excited.. now if only i can get past through this marketing stuff and accounting shit then i can really be excited and it will be a whole lot F-U-N!! and another thing, my friends and i are also planning (and looking forward) to going to boracay.. wow, this is really fun! since i havent been in a pleasurable break since last christmas break.. kawawa naman ako.. hehe.. imagin, having gone through the third term and pushing for the summer term PLUS the first term.. tell me, dont i need a break?! hehe..

well it sounds like all a plan. then again, JUST a plan.. :)