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i received a text from pam, my office mate, the other day. it said:

Si Pam ay:
pero:
di ko ineexpect na:
thanks sa:
ganda ng:
cute siya:
sana:

i was so suprised that pam sent me that because i thought it was conceited. or did i? so i texted the same to some friends mwehehehehe.
funny how they really replied and took it seriously haha.
here are some of the replies i received sans the text language and spelling.

gela - my office mate
si bryan ay makulit
pero cute
thanks sa friendship
di ko ine-expect na mabait ka
ganda ng smile mo
cute siya pag tumatawa
sana maregularize ka
sana malaman mo na thankful ako na friend kita

* this is so g-rated, i love it haha.

erika - my girl-friend
si bryan ay perfect guy
pero may pact kami :)
thanks sa friendship
di ko ine-expect na sobrang sarap mong kausap
ganda ng built
cute siya pag tawa ng tawa
sana makita ko siya kay ate cel bago ako mag-graduate
sana malaman niya na love na love ko siya and that i can't imagine life without a great friend like him

* might be wondering what that pact is. well, it started out one day when we were talking about out non-existent love life and we were cheering each other up like: "why don't you find a new boyfriend, you're really pretty you know" and "you know what, you're what i want in a guy - you're perfect for me!" and we suddenly looked at each other and laughed. and we said "but please let's promise each other that we won't - ever - hook up. and we laughed our asses off. LOL.

tootsie - high school friend (up to now!)
si bryan ay siokoy
pero may pingas ang ilong
thanks sa inuman mems
di ko ine-expect na magyoyosi ka din
ganda ng friend niyang si tootsie
cute siya pag halloween
sana pumartee na rin siya
sana malaman niya na 4h mems na

* hmmm, tootsie... parteeE? *shakes head* hahahaha lol. :)

elisa - forever friend
si bryan ay puta
pero gwapo
thanks sa lahat lahat for the past decade
di ko ine-expect na manliligaw sakin
cute siya pag kumakanta
sana di na siya ma-depress
sana malaman niya na ico-confine ako mamayang gabi for blood transfusion sa manila doctors

* fyi: yes i love whoring. cam whoring. elisa, you pig! hehehe jk! and i hope that it's not cancer.

shit happens

things/sh*t happens

i was thinking. why am i stressing out too much on keeping my current job? what's so good about it? what's not so good about it? is it worth keeping? is leaving my job the best decision i will/should make?

i mean, come to think of it, things happen. shit happens. and, although as controlling as i am with my life right now, i cannot ever make things go my way. things can sometimes not go as planned. it's just that when i was younger, i always dreamed of making it big. making it biggER than most people i know. after graduation, i reminded myself of my goals, my plans, my dreams. i was so focused about this that i was too proud to admit that that might take a while. imagine, i was so bent on not taking a call center job. but after weeks and weeks of disappointments and rejections, look where i'm at right now. the funny thing is, i'm enjoying it (maybe for now). and that is exactly my point. i planned one thing only to find myself in an entirely different dimension and it's not so bad after all. maybe the primary reason for all these is that i want to make a statement. i want to get ahead. i want THIS RACE.

thinking about it, i guess, that was my past plan. but i could never kill myself for not realizing that - for now.

after these realizations, i suppose i'm scared again of the future. what will happen after this? now that i'm enjoying this, what will become of me? i wish i can sing que sera, sera, but that's just not the case. the thought of leaving a job scares me because i'm unsure of the future. i have no plan B. imagine stressing myself into getting good (and this is an understatement) appraisals every freakin' day!

sitting just today, i remembered my mother's words: "life is not a race" she said that to me when i told her about my boss whom i just found out to be 24. i was like "what?! that can't be! i'm already 22! what have i done (with my life)?!" well, it's true. life is not a race against others. i think, the only opponent that you have is yourself.

segue lang: if life is a race, then my god, i wouldn't wanna finish my life ahead of them! ayoko pang mamatay no!

i have come to a conclusion: you cannot live in the past. past is past. it's water under the bridge. and you're just barking on the wrong tree. (huh?!) but seriously, how can you ever reach your goal if you keep on stepping back to attend to your past?
another conclusion:apart from not living in the past, you should also never let the future distress you in any way possible. i mean, come on! it has never happenned yet and you can still take the necessary steps to get to that. it's never too late.

i gotta live in the NOW. i gotta take everything one step at a time. a little sidestep can be good at times but i'll always be sure that with one sidestep, i also take two steps forward - like a dance. yes. like a dance.
and when things go wrong, think: things happen. SHIT happens. don't fret and take action.

the end. bow.

ciao!

putangina

putanginang yan. lahat na nga ginagawa mo, tapos hindi pa rin nagiging tama ang mga bagay bagay.
god knows i try my hardest to please people at work. god knows the passion in my heart to help out those damned whiny customers. and in return, they'd give me a failing survey?! WHAT. THE. FUCK!

maybe it's a way of god telling me that i should have waited for him to do his thing. and that i was so impatient in taking this job that i have right now. but whatever. i hurts like freaking hell.

my 5th month appraisal is getting the best of me partly because i had the worst rating i could get on my 100th day. honestly, when you ask me to rate myself, i would rate myself a 3.5 out of 4. but no matter how i tell myself that, it is still those customers and my supervisor who give me those ratings. whatever. dammit.

at habang hirap ka na sa paglalagay ng pilit na ngiti sa mukha mo, dadagdagan pa ng supervisor mo ang hirap mo sa pagtatanong ng: "If worse comes to worst, do you have a plan if you don't get regularized?"

PUTANG. INA.

thanks ah! pero mabait naman ang supervisor ko. wala naman akong reklamo sa kanya talga. i just don't appreciate the fact that he asked me that question during the day that i had long discussions with my customers AND got my ZERO rating survey - again. pag minalas ka nga naman.

so. jobstreet. we meet again.