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dentist nightmare part II

"if it ain't aching, don't fix it. you're gonna be just fine."

that's my newly acquired motto with regard to visiting the dentist. i thought spending 20k right off the bat two weeks ago was too much. (i went there with just the goal of having my teeth cleaned of nicotine stains and avail of my medical benefit of two light-cures and free prophylaxis)

i just came home from my second visit to the dentist. let's rewind. i had a 1:30 appointment. but the assistant texted me and told me that my appointment was moved to 2:30. fine. so i was there 2:30 - no dentist, yet. ok so i sat down and waited. 3:00, no dentist still. alright so she's late. 3:30, i am now hungry since i haven't taken my lunch yet and still no dentist was in sight. so i went down to grab something to eat. 4:00 the assistant told me that the dentist is "on her way."
4:15 i finally met the dentist. only, he is not a she. he was not the dentist i was supposed to see.

dentist: "bryan? hi!"
me: "uhh yes. is doctor *bleep* coming in?"
dentist: "uh no, i'm gonna be your dentist today. she's my wife."
me: "(what?!?!) umm ok."
dentist: "please sit, it's just now that i'm seeing your impress, no. so... (pauses and looks at my teeth impress) hmmm... (scrutinizes the impress more, pauses) nako!"
me: "..."
dentist: "you have a lot of things to fix"
me: "yes, i know"
dentist: "so i believe everything is paid for already? i just have to finish this?"
me: *grimaces* yes.

so the dentist went on telling and showing me the crown my first dentist had done. "perfect!" i told myself. then he went on saying "BUT..." then i go, "OH NO" in my head.
"you see," he goes on as he demonstrates on the impress of my teeth, "if i place this crown now, i'm worried that this might not work. because you're previous root canal is too deep and i have to check it out first. the crown might just break. so i have to put a post first."
and i told the dentist that i was not made aware of it by his wife. and he went on saying what my first dentist told me, that i need to have braces. i told him that i cannot afford braces now and we should just focus on what has been already started. because frankly, i told him, paying 20k in one go has already put a huge hole in my wallet. so he finally agreed and started on doing my pasta.
of course, as with all the dentist, they will literally go through the lengths of being good actors with exclamations such as "oh my god... this is really bad!" and "you should really consider what i'm telling you. in fact, you need an operation already."

gawd! yeah right.

i did not mind anything that he's saying, to be honest. because all i can hear is the ka-ching of the cash register everytime. and it sickens me.

fast forward. after two pasta's, my second dentist told me that we'll do the rest on our next meeting. i swear to god i just wanted to explode. i mean i was actually planning this visit to be my last already because for the coming weeks, i'll be busy with work. now i have to go back at least three times. with my schedule, i have to really stretch myself twice over just to get this thing done and over with.

worse: my second dentist told me that my first dentist (his wife) missed counting one pasta i had. so i had to pay another 800.
worst: he did the liberty of putting medicine on two of my pasta for today. great right? but no. it cost me 450 a pop. and i had two. so motherfuckinshitputangenangasshole diba?!?!?!

in this yet another long rant-post, my point is, never, NEVER go to the dentist if you don't feel anything. as they say, "if it's not broken, don't fix it."

matapos lang 'to, and i swear i'm done with dentists. the only time i'll be seeing them is for prophylaxis and some serious dental emergencies. period.

open your wallet wiiiiiiddeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

pa-burger ka naman!

finally!! nakakuha na rin ako ng kopya. ang tagal kong hinanap to.

ang lakas kasi ng tawa ko sa bahay kahit mag-isa lang ako nung napanood ko 'to. hahaha..

enjoy!

english ad


bangs ad


tuck-in ad (my favorite)

love ko 'to!

ciao!

pa-special daw oh

kailangan kong mag-release.

i don't want to make a big deal out of this sana kaso therapy ko na ang magsulat.

ayoko kasing maging pabigat sa team. sa lahat ng mga team na sinalihan ko, kahit sinong tanungin mo, never akong naging pabigat - lalo na yung mga sinasadyang pabigat. hindi ako pa-special. dahil vain man ako at gusto ko ng atensyon, hindi ako ang tipo ng tao na gagawa ng kainartehan para lang makakuha ng atensyon. in fact, that is my pet peeve. kaya hindi ako ganun.

kaya nakakainis kapag nagiging ganun ka ng hindi mo naman sinasadya. lalo na kung sa umpisa pa lang naman, malinaw na sa mga tao sa paligid na may mga bagay na hindi ako kumportable gawin. tapos sa huli, people will see you as pa-special. tangena naman.

hindi naman kasi ako nagsasayaw. isang beses lang ako nagsayaw ng solo. nung december sa christmas party. sa umpisa pa lang, ayoko nang sumali. sabi ko pa, ipagawa na nila lahat lahat sa akin, huwag lang ang magsayaw sa harap ng tao. pero dahil hindi ako pabigat sa team, sabi ko sa kanila, sige, just this once, i will do it. i'll charge it to experience nalang din. so ok naman ako dun. ginawa ko siya. binigay ko lahat lahat ng kaya ko. ok na. sabi ko sa kanila "this is the first and last time i'll ever dance in front of a crowd."

seryoso ako.

ngayon, naisipan nilang mag present ulit sa isang event. kasama ang grupong sinalihan ko. maaga pa lang, pinaalalahanan ko na silang ayoko na. that i'm done with that experience.

again, seryoso ako.

pero parang hindi yata nila naiintindihan ang tagalog at english. pinipilit nila ako. eh ayoko nga. ang masama pa, ako yung nagmumukhang masama. ako yung nagmumukhang pa-special.

nakakabanas pa na umabot sa svp ang pagtanggi ko. kahit na ano pang sabihin ko, umabot na sa svp. tangena naman diba.

"eh sino bang may gusto?"

aba ewan ko sa inyo. basta ako ayoko. ginawa ko na siya ng isang beses at malinaw sa umpisa na isang beses ko lang siya gagawin. may hindi ba ko nasabi sa inyo? may hindi ba maliwanag sa AYOKONG MAGSAYAW SA HARAP NG MADLA?! hindi naman ako nagpapasolve ng calculus ah.

"it's part of our job"

no, i beg to disagree. we do a lot of things that is way beyond what our job description says. and that's ok with me. to the point that it is already to my detriment. hindi na ko naningil ng mga taxi fares na dapat charged sa kumpanya. kahti na hindi ako madalas mag OT hindi naman na ako nagfa-file. hindi rin ako humihingi ng sobra kahit na minsan gusto ko nang magreklamo ng malakas dahil sa kahit computer sa opisina ay hindi maayos. hindi rin ako nagiinarte pag pinapasali ako sa mga extra curricular activities na may involved na pagkanta - dahil ok lang naman siya sakin, hindi naman masyado nakakahiya boses ko, ehem ehem. there are a lot of things na ginagawa ng team namin na more than our job description dahil gusto namin at enjoy naman kami.

but i know where to draw the line especially if i'm already being forced to do something that which makes me uncomfortable is an understatement. kung ok naman ako sa pagsasayaw, bakit ko naman ipagdadamot yun?

buti sana kung may kinalaman siya sa trabaho - training, marketing, administrative jobs, at mga presentations.

oo, it's a personal choice. i also take it personally when i'm being forced to perform something that humiliates me to my very core.

i still have my boundaries, yes.

kaya sana huwag namang ganun. mahirap maipit sa sitwasyong sa umpisa pa lang, iniiwasan mo na.

ang sakin lang, huwag namang kunin yung katiting na hiya meron ako. ang arte ko, pero yung ang totoo kong nararamdaman.

the feeling is so strong that i'm actually willing to resign if it ever comes to that point.

BUT.

since ayoko nga mag pa special, kung pipilitin nila ako, sige. PAYN! gagawin ko. pero i hope it's clear that i will TOTALLY NOT ENJOY IT AND THAT I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT AT ALL.

hindi ako pa-special.

done. now what?

yesterday, i graduated from the dale carnegie course. nice.

next please.



ciao

american idol etcetera

mom still hasn't called.

lot's of flies a while back.

zapped 'em with my electric-mosquito-killing-tennis-racket.

all dead.

'mbunch still spills her food while playing with it. spoilt little bitch.

watched american idol after a lot of missed episodes and i realized, a lot of them have already been sent home. fortunately, these three are still here. my top 3 picks.

(i picked ramiele early this season because she's filipino and cute to boot. but she really had it coming especially with this season's talents)

watch them.

love the way his music was arranged for this performance. violins are always good. david cook's vocals in this performance were a bit too unstable for my taste though.
now, show me someone who can play violin well.

i like the way he reminds me of jason mraz. and you should know that jason mraz is one of my all-time favorite musicians. (light bulb moment: they have the same first names!)
i like jason castro's simple, laid-back kinda style. in this competition where earth-shattering vocals are always lauded, i always appreciate power and simplicity.
just one question, though: ano kaya amoy ng buhok niya?! gaah.

david archuleta has been one of my early faves. can't believe he's just 16. dammit. when you see people like him, you just ask yourself - what have i been doing to my life?!
there's just quite a lot of awkward moments with him on stage and that's my only problem. i couldn't care less if he sings ballads for the rest of eternity. he has a nice voice anyway.

oh well, i think that's it.

hey you, pick up!

snippets

just yesterday, i was held up.

by my dentist. i've been thinking about it right after the procedure. i've also been thinking about it last night. and frankly, everytime i do, i would just cringe at the fact that i spent thousands and thousands of bloody pesos just for my teeth.

i'm broke to the nth degree.

so goodbye james blunt concert. goodbye (my friend, you have been the one... you have been the one foooorrr meeeee).

and yes, i've been brushing my teeth, thank you very much.

mommy call me, i need to tell you something. and call me when you're at the best of moods. haha.

____________

for a few months now, for every step i take, i take two steps back. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me but i keep on second guessing myself. i just have a lot of things in my mind that i feel i can no longer contain. it gets tiring at times. but what can i do? for now, i believe that's the best thing i can do.

i need a therapist.

____________

i've been obssessing about something. is that included in the 7 deadly sins? i really think i'd be an excellent private investigator.

so shall i be.

sniff. sniff.

____________

yosi

yet again,
i kiss the burning fire -
so shall it bear
new life.

fiery
is the glowing red
that slowly devours
its own offspring.

its travails
seem but futile -
its intentions
still hazy.

and so shall this
kiss
end
in eternity.

ciao!

pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst!!


=,(

how to deal

i know i seriously need to work on my issues. but the problem is, i don't know what exactly my issue is. i know what i'm going through but i can't exactly pinpoint or tell what it is.
i had to down 3 bottles of beer just to be able to bring myself to talk to you.

sabi sa class ko, know what the problem is, then focus on the possible solutions. eh yun nga yun eh. ano ba talaga kasi? kung ganon lang kadali yun eh di sana wala nang ganito ganito.
i had to smoke 5 sticks of cigarettes just to convince myself that nothing would go wrong.

ang nakakatawa pa, alam ko ang solusyon. at isa lang ang solusyon - na hindi ko pa magagawa.
but, then again, i was wrong. i was not even able to talk to you in the first place.

sabi nga dito: oh god, what have i done...

Here I stand - sad and free
I cant cry and I cant see
What I've done
Oh, God what have I done?

pocketful of sunshine

i was in the office a while ago and was doing nothing (fyi: i finished all my tasks and deliverables in the morning. =P ) and thought about this:

i need something to hold on to every time i feel a little down. i need it to come from my own experiences. so i thought of putting all the good things that i can be proud of/happy of in pieces of paper and just draw from the lot when i feel the need to.
but why waste paper? so i'll just do it here online. on my blog. duh.

so starting from today, whenever i experience something good, i shall write it on here. that's all hehe.

pocketful of sunshine:

in my previous job, while helping out one of the cashiers, one customer, while paying for his merchandise asked for my name. the whole time i was helping the cashier, i was all smiles and i was actually quite cheerful. he asked so aggressively that i was actually taken aback and thought immediately that i was a bit too irritating for him. and the fact that his eyes were squinting at my name plate's direction didn't help at all.
so i looked at him shyly and said: uhh, yes sir? it's bryan.
i was actually waiting for some not-so-nice words from him.
then he paused and said: bryan, huh... you deserve your position.
then he went off carrying loads of paper bags.

-------------------------

in other news, i love this new coke angel ad. something really refreshing.

i wish i know what soundtrack was used though. help?

ciao!

holy wednesday

last holy wednesday denggoy kidnapped us and brought us to villa de la gallardo. this was the day before the zambales thing.

(click pic to direct you to my multiply page)

ciao!

work news

(i forgot to publish this last week and i just noticed this sitting on my desktop. feb29)

it was a hit!

for two weeks now, i've been busy preparing for our quarterly area managers conference. along with the conference, there will be two new product launch on the same day.
i was tasked to make the audio-visual presentation/infomercial for one of the new products to be launched. the president strongly reiterated that he wants to strike the emotional nerve of the area managers. and being the emo kid that i am, i was too happy to oblige. gaaaahhh...

after today's event, i can't say anything more! the infomercial was a hit! according to my immediate supervisor, there were a handful of people who were wiping the tears off their faces when the lights went on again. unfortunately, i didn't see it happen because i was on the projection room doing the audio. but needless to say, i am satisfied. sure there were a lot more tweakings that i want to do but it did its job.
ganyan lang, isubsob lang ang sarili sa trabaho.

i want to congratulate our team for yet another successful conference. the product launches were GREAT! and this has just to be said, hats off to coco, our new officer-in-charge, for a very successful first project under his helm!

CLICK - PICTURES - CLICK

---------------------

i cast these ropes
upon you, my prey -
drag you
until you lay at my feet,
still perfect.
and i, your predator
shall consume you,
slowly,
until every part of you
becomes part of me.

binisaya lang ta

kamingaw kaayo oy. kanus-a man ka mu-balik dinhi? kay baling dugay-a na ta dili nagkauban usab. pauli na lagi.

uban ta sa dumaguete ha. tawagon ta ka katong semana =)

taka-taka lamang ko oy.

sobrang random

bilang wala na talaga akong magawa, nangeelam ako ng celphone ko at nakita ko ang mga ito. kawawa naman, kailangan magkaroon ng silbe ang mga pictures na to kaya... TAADAAANNN!!!

sinubukan kong alalahanin kung saan siya galing at kung ano meron.
(paki-click nalang ang mga pics para sa mas malaking version)

nagkape at dessert kami sa gloria jeans ng buong team after our night out

birthday ni sharon. as usual hindi nanaman namin alam kung saan kami kakain. dito kami bumagsak. cascada, greenbelt 3.

last coffee with yuri sa ps building

salad sa pia y padre damaso yata to. kung ganon, christmas dinner to ng barkada.

ucc glorietta with enp

sunday, after mass with sha, macky, and jd. cafe bola for dinner and gelatone for dessert, greenbelt 5

i've no idea kung ano at saan to, pero bilang mukha siyang salisbury steak na may kasamang cake, sa red ribbon ata to.

sheila, tin, and i nung friday lang. some chinese resto in galleria after work. may allowance eh.

coco is stressed. walang koneksyon sa pagkain to. di niya rin alam na ume-emote na siya sa bintana.

lastly, eto para kay yuri. mejo lang parang tatlong taon niya to sino-solve. na-gawa ko na habang jume-jebs nung last week. eto picture!

oha! oha!

ciao!

text message

in public transport, how often do you unintentionally read the text message being composed by the person beside you? because on my way home, the bus was crowded and i was left with no choice but to stand during the whole trip. the lady sitting beside me was texting. and this was what i read, well at least from what i remember:

kuya, papunta na poh ako jan. nasabi sakin ng abugado na nakarating na yung subpoena ni maricel tungkol dun sa pagpatay niya sa kapitbahay niya...

and then i stopped reading.

HEL-LO!!!!!!!!!!

now how often do you encounter that?!

so ikaw pala ang tubig!

pffft.

i know what the water in my dreams is.

kanina, while coco discussed some things with me, bigla akong napatigil, then i said "ahhhhh, so YOU'RE my water!"

o diba, ang gulat lang ni coco sa sinabi ko.

"err, huh?!"

ako: "wala..."

apparently, with the things that i was asked/have to do, i have to make a lot of (big) decisions. and frankly, it's all kinda new to me. so goodluck nalang sa buhay ko.

and no it's not a promotion (i don't even think i'd want that lol), it's just more work. boo. but yay for the confidence. woooot!

in other news, funny things happened this week. one is... basta it's too long a story but to cut it short, i sent a scary-looking (take note, scary looking lang) picture to all my email recipients. it's the type of picture you get often as spam in your outlook, mga weird, panakot kunyari stuff. so anyway, my tita dolly, tita guing guing, and mommy are all included in that group. at ngayon ko lang narealize, magkakapatid sila LOL LOL LOL!

the next day after sending the email, my tita dolly replied
LINTIAN! natakot ako sa picture hahaha!
so i replied, saying na the last intention i had was to scare people. it's just me sending random emails that i get. so there.

later that day, it was my tita guing naman. "walangya ka anak, natakot ako."
and my reply was the same. and after a few email trails later she went on explaining na kaya niya tinignan ay dahil akala niya picture ko yun.
ARAY TITA GUING AH!
at mas natakot siya dahil after looking at it for a while at 3 in the morning, she realized na hindi pala ako yun. mas lalo siyang natakot. hahahaha.
i don't think i'd go to that length where i'll be posing as a dead-the-ring-kinda-girl for a good scare (which was not even intended).

but the best (among the rest, rah rah rah) is the reply i got from my mom.

she even called me.

this morning WHILE i was preparing for work.

mom: (without saying hello) bryan?! ano ba tong mga sinesend mo sakin?! para kang tanga!

and i was like, huh?! anong sinesend?

tapos she went on telling me about the picture and how it scared her (and this is the surprising/funny/peculiar part) not because of the girl but because she was thinking that i made that because i was feeling down... super LOL!

i know it's not funny on my mom's part but it really did make me laugh. kasi daw my blog is sooo (and this is her term) dark.

uhh, mother dear, i know my blog is dark (because it's black hahaha just kidding) because this is my repository for whatever i feel that i CANNOT share personally with anyone for a conversation topic. ok let's see how this goes:

officemate: hi bryan good morning! by the way, coco called and was asking for a return call
me: oh ok. by the way, because i was afraid, you slipped away...

mommy dearest, frankly i don't think that would work, won't it? hehehe..

haay so anyway. that's it for today.

and just for the record i feel anxious about A LOT OF THINGS. it's beginning to be overwhelming.., *sigh*

ciao!

these dreams

... go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

for three days straight now, i've been dreaming about the sea, the ocean, the beach, the waves, the water. it's bugging me. why is it all the same for three consecutive nights?

so, for the sake of immortalizing my dream, i'll write about it.

the first dream, i was inside my house and someone was taking a shower. i know because i can hear the splashes of water against the bathroom tiles. i also saw luggages beside the stairs - as if someone has come back. i was so excited and ran to the bathroom door still listening to the water splashes. i walked to the living and found two of my friends there. i remember asking them who came and who was using the bathroom. they gave a number of names and i know they were kidding. finally, on the verge tears, i asked them again who it was. and they both said, "nako, si ____ nga!!"
(note: i never heard the name in my dream)

the second one, i remember, i was swimming in cold waters. my body was submerged in this dark but clear waters (i can see my feet) and a woman was massaging my back. from what i remember, i didn't like to be touched at that time and i just wanna stay there where i am - submerged in water from the neck down. i didn't see anything that would suggest i was wading in a pool, but i was aware (at least in my dream) that i was 'swimming' in the sea. while i was swimming away from the woman who was massaging my back, i was also looking for something/someone and i know that i must find that something/someone in church. and for some reason, i got out of the water as if i was on the beach - the waters were gradually subsiding and there i can feel sand on my feet.
the next thing i knew was that i was inside the church/cathedral already looking for someone. details to this dreams are so many (railroads, more cathedral, running, discovering that i was naked) that i can't even put what happened to words. like, here.

the third one, i was in my room. and then when i got out of the door, i saw the beach, well not actually a beach, but boulders being crashed by strong waves. the thing i remember is that the waves were so strong it was turning into foam while crashing into this big boulder. i can hear it very loudly. and while my room was just adjacent to the other room in the house, i turned to the other room and found water in it. it looked like a beach but instead of sand, it was my floor. and the weird thing was, the wood of my floor is reacting to the water in such a way that it looked like sand. you know, when there is something on the sand and the waves on the beach would hit it, the sand where the thing is sitting on leaves a mark. that's how my floor looks like and it was the hangers all over the floor leaving a mark. and that's as far as i remember them.

...

we have this book of dreams that my aunt gave us. she gave it to us because the book annoys her. according to my aunt, all she wanted to know were amusing interpretations of her dreams and it bothers her because the book was a bit too specific and "true." so for years now, i've been consulting this book of dreams and true enough, they were often, if not all, true. and if my dream would be something prophetic, it often happens according to the book.
so anyway, i consulted the book: dreaming about water, sea, oceans, beaches, waves, etc., denotes something about being emotional and sexual... wha!
and the interpretations are cohesive - some important decision is going to be made and my emotions will play a big part in it.

i'm skehwd... brrr...