"The water in my stream may have changed many times, but the reflection of the moon and the stars remains the same."

- Rumi

trolling

Well, not really. Just browsing some friends over at Facebook and found this from one of my former classmates in DLSU, Nestle.

Love is that quiet certainty, that final decision, that we will spend our lives together, whether we get married or not, whether we become great or not. It’s not I-need-to-be-with-you, but simply, I am with you, not right now, not even right here in this world, but forever, in that soul place beyond the reach of the world’s problems and questions and influences.

I always have admired her writing skills. These are just perfect lines.

And no. It has nothing to do with me.

questions and nostalgia

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

- Rainer Maria Rilke

I remember posting this on my fridge back in college and having memorized it, too, by heart. It's a great quote.

"for you, a thousand times over!"

hassan: "have i ever lied to you?"

amir: "how should i know?"

hassan: "i'd rather eat dirt."

amir: "would you really do that?"

hassan: "do what?"

amir: "eat dirt if i told you to."

hassan: "if you asked, i would."
"but would you really ask me to do such a thing?"

amir: "are you crazy?"

"you know i wouldn't."

hassan: "i know."

this is a story of two young friends who got lost and eventually found their way back to each other despite being worlds away. this is such a moving story and you should watch it.

ciao.

dahil uso ang profundity these days

" may mga bagay na hindi mo hinihintay pero bumabalik. sa parehong paraan, may mga bagay na hindi bumabalik gaano man katagal ang paghihintay. "

pauso ko.

here goes three

this person knows already knows what kind of job he got into. the company he works for does not really compensate well. however, according to him, he's willing to sacrifice financial stability for good relationships and better career growth, at least for now. in the mean time, the person is enjoying the time he's having. he complains a lot, whines a lot, and vents out a lot; that's just his way of coping with the financial limitations his job brings. one day he tells me this:

you don't need to rub it in. i know what i got into. i know the company i'm working for is not the best there is. but this is where i found the true spirit of friendship, hardwork, and camaraderie -- as cliche as that sounds. i am working for a company that needs me. tell me this, in all honesty, does the company you work for really need you? they can replace you anytime they want to. there are a lot of people with your skills, heck even better than yours. i am proud of that fact, they cannot just replace me. they have to look long and hard. and even if they found the right person for the job, they know that the right person for the job would not accept the job. i
and, if you're just saying that to make me feel better, well it doesn't. believe it or not, i get affected, too, when i hear you talk shit about the company i work for. so please, do not rub it in. i already heard what you're about to say.

OK. i understand. sorry.

--------

dear you,

we've been through this quite a lot of times already. and frankly, it's already disturbing hearing you go through all those stuff again. i thought we were already in agreement that expectations are totally out of the question? my friend, in these times, the only enemy that you have are your expectations. even if it's a promise. here's an advice: you and promises don't really go together. you cannot expect people to fulfill those promises. as long as you do, you're always headed for disappointments. i know. it's sad. but this is the real world godammit. stop being that way and start to accept that things will sometimes not go the way you expect them to be. but if it does, then good for you. good for us.
but for now, let's just not go through this anymore.

please?

--------

i was leafing through one of the books i have the other day, thought bubble:

you always ask if i did enough; if i cared for you enough, if i miss you enough, if i love you enough. you always tell me what you want and what you didn't want.
but did you care to stop for a moment and ask what I want?

BOOM! wow. very dramatic.


ciao!

oo nga naman...

" Leave alone that which causes you doubt, and adhere to that which is free from doubt, for truth is comforting and falsehood is disturbing. "

random

ang sabi ni imogen heap:

I join the queue on your answer phone and all I am is holding breath. Just pick up I know you're there, can't you hear? I'm not myself
Well, go ahead and lie to me - you could say anything. Small talk will be just fine. Your voice is everything. We owe it to love. And it all depends on you.

So listen up. The sun hasn't set. I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling. Just hear me out. I'm not over you yet. It’s love on the line, can you handle it?

So how do I do normal? A smile I fake; the permenant wave of cue-cards and fix-it kits. Can't you tell? I'm not myself

I'm a slow motion accident lost in coffee rings and fingerprints. I don't wanna feel anything but I do and it all comes back to you.

So listen up "this" sun hasn't set. I refuse to believe that it's only me feeling. Just hear me out, I'm not over you yet. It’s love on the line, can you handle it?

Look at me straight. Don't make me wait. I can't take this. Love's on the line.

Is that your final answer?

i agree. just hear me out daw.

ang sabi naman ni meredith:

we all think we're going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations are not met. but sometimes, our expectations sell us short.
sometimes the expected pales in comparison to the unexpected. you gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations. because the expected is just what keeps us steady standing still. the expected's just the beginning. the unexpected is what changes our lives.

totoo nga naman.

so i'm home. in the lull between dinner and slumber, i'm left here in this room, infront of the monitor doing this. i know i was supposed to write something that i thought of earlier this morning while doing the commute but i kinda lost the idea already during the commute home.
you see, everytime i commute, what you may call ideas, thoughts, realizations come to me like rain. while i listen to songs plugged into my ear, i'd see something that would catch my attention and imagination. Ninety percent of the time, it's the what if's more than the aha's that would hit me. and then i'd play along with it, even obsess myself about it especially if the MRT is crowded or if the traffic along EDSA is heavy. but then as i slide my card into the slot to get out or as i go down the steps of the jeep, those thought that i have obsessed myself with would immediately evaporate into thin air - that is if the pollution in the metro is not as heavy as normal.

so anyway, that's my entry for today. nothing much. it's not because i feel the need to write something here or that i feel obliged. it's just that as much as i would like to write whatever it is i really really wanna write, i bet we've seen it all before.

then again, i choose this. and this is supposedly happiness.

emo mode: listen closely. can you hear it? it's the sound of my heart breaking.

ready for love

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here
ready for love, i. arie

i am ready for love. yes, we're talking about love life. my friend sha and i were just talking about something when the subject of love came up. i am ready for love. i think this is my affirmation. but i am not searching for it. i don't plan on it. i don't like anyone to try to make things happen. i want it to be special. i want love to find me. i want the person to just suddenly come to my life, and i to come to the person's life, as well. they say love finds its way. i'm waiting to be found. i'm walking, but not searching. i'm wanting, but not expecting. i guess, for the longest time, i can say, i'm ready for love.

epilogue

"when you hurt as much, you can't get hurt twice." - breaking and entering

news tidbit

tidbits

daming nangyari. pero katulad ng sinabi ko sa mga kasamahan ko sa trabaho, manhid na ko.

+++++++++++

i'm addicted to red pesto. i eat it together with skyflakes. i cooked pasta with it. i ate garlic bread with it. fish and rice and red pesto. meat and rice and red pesto. corned beef and rice and red pesto. hotdog and pesto. everything with pesto. as if it's cheap. i should make one. cherry tomatoes, olive oil, basil.

+++++++++++

i'm getting fatter by the minute. everyone this week has been dropping comments about my weight. i should watch myself. but i just love carbs.

+++++++++++

i just spent 70 worthless pesos just for overdue charges for my vcd rental. tae.

+++++++++++

i tried photoshop again. inisip ko lang na i should do whatever i want to do again. yung gusto ko talaga at hindi dahil kailangan. eto siya.

+++++++++++

everday na siguro ako naglu-look forward sa family reunion in june sa dumaguete. i'm hella excited. sana lang nga matuloy ang lahat.

+++++++++++

i hate it when people don't say "thank you." how can those two words be so hard to say. wala namang bayad yun eh.

+++++++++++

i hate the MRT. wala silang tinitindang stored value tickets. ayan araw araw tuloy akong pumipila. nakikipagsiksikan sa mga tao. mas pagod pa ko sa commute ko araw araw minsan kesa sa trabaho mismo.

+++++++++++

eto yung mga nakuha ko sa text na natuwa ako.

i've realized that life is indeed full of contradictions. sometimes it's crazy to be sane. you need to fall to fly. people suffer because you care. you have to unlearn to know the lesson. you have to give up just because you are strong. you have to be wrong to make things right. nonetheless, life's complexities are also life's source of beauty. we should cry to laugh again, fall apart to be whole again. and get hurt to love again.

here's another wave of self appreciation. another batch of solicited texts.

eros - co-worker

bryan is my friend/supervisor/kalandian
i met him at *****
i like him because down to earth siya. sobrang down to earth siya abot hell na nga sa sobrang down
wala pa naman akong inaayawan sa kanya SA NGAYON
one thing ill never forget about him is yung pangaabuso niya sakin
bagay sila ni *ap**
my message for him is thanks and goodluck, pahirapan ba ko?

macel - co-worker

bryan is my idol
i met him at work
i like him because he's makulit
i hate him because he has a butt nicer than mine
one thing i'll never forget about him is everything!
bagay sila ni a**e* **cs**?!
my message for him is to get an insurance for his butt and get some sleep.
AT MAGPATULOG KA NAMAN! MASAYA KA NA?!
stay nice and true!

erika - girl friend

bryan is my best guy buddy
i met him in taft
i like him because he's always available
i hate him coz he's selfish (doesnt wanna share himself to others)
one thing ill never forget about him is his poetry
bagay sila ni wala
my message for him is: bry wag ka malandi! mahal kita alam mo yun! but you can never have me. haha thanks for everything!

isa pa:

• does jennifer love hewitt?
• where did vincent van gogh?
• is marvin gaye?
• why is norman black?
• where did sandara park?
• is chow yun fat?
• what did henry sy?
• why is alonzo mourning?
• is lucio tan?
• when will orlando bloom?
• what did scooby doo?
• is the birthstone of kevin garnett?
• what is victoria's secret?
• kapag namili ba si manny pacquiao?

ciao!