it's official

its official.. IM TIRED AND EXHAUSTED..

my head is spinning
my stomach's churning
i havent ate anything since yesterday
my legs are beginning to go numb
my feet are getting hotter by the minute
my vision is blurring
dammit im tired

and im so tired that i cant go home.. im still in school and im here stuck infront of the computer with only my fingers moving.. my head, hand, legs, arms are not moving at all its pathetic.. yeah im pathetic - so deal with it. youre reading this right? then youre pathetic too! and this blog is pathetic coz it wouldnt post any pictures.. or maybe im the pathetic one since i dunno how to put pictures in this pathetic blog.. screw blogspot.. they wouldnt host pictures dammit..

im done

shoo!

T.G.I.F.

yes.. Yes.. YES!

it'f friday and i love it!

i just finished my law on partnership and corporation test (taray!) awhile ago i think i will get a high grade on that.. kasi ba naman kaka-acounting 2a ko palang.. that's about partnership and corporation but on the accounting side. but more or less i have a background already..

anyway, its friday night here and i still dont know how to spend it - either to to jd's house or watch a movie (i was really eyeing IMELDA since last week).. o well, whatever..

well im still here.

sometimes, i just dont know what to write here, so i guess ill just not be posting here for four days to get my head straight.. and when i get back, itll be so much better and bigger and whatever.. but its better alright..

i loved what pres wrote on her blog < www.xanga.com/fweakish > about the american thingy and the previous one.. pres: i just hope you dont get your job till forever so i can read more about your experiences there.. hmmm.. parang i can smell the great u.s of a. na from here! o well, gotta wait till october when i get the answer from the INS if i could go there.. geesh! my life has been 'future-less' and 'plan-less' eversince my mother said that i might be going to the US before i turn 21. and that would be on october pa.. so i couldnt move - i dont know if i will continue studying here or make plan after study or maybe during study.. whatever i just wish its october so i could at least plan my life ahead. well, i have two plans though

1. if i go the US this october, ill be filing my leave of absence from school for two years and work there and maybe i can pay my own tuition when i get back (that is if DLSU would not be raising the fees)
2. if i dont go to the US, ill probably be doing everything i can to be active in my marketing and advertising org so i could put that in my resume.. i want to have my OJT in mckan-errickson (did i spell that right?) or maybe JWalter Thompson or at least BBDO-Ortega.. whatever.. right now i just want to work and stay away from school.. hehe :)

okay, this is long.. ill probably be going to the university mall and meet my friends there and do whatever in 5..
4..
3..
2..
1..
ciao!

and the music continues

yesterday i wrote about how fast paced our lives are - well at least for me.

just today, and it 2:00 am already, I am here in my friend's house, on a tuesday night/wednesday morning, trying to help him with the design of his posters and fliers and whatever else for his course...

now im done im back here.. wondering what to write.. and the thing is, my rule here is JUST TO WRITE.. so i am writing you this:









exactly. i have nothing to write because my mind isnt working properly anymore. im tired and sleepy and tired and sleepy. so i have to end this.

now, go away.

did i say i was tired and sleepy?

buhos, ulan, buhos

wala akong balak magsulat dito, pero katatapos pa lamang ng aking klase ng alas siete ng gabi at pag labas ko ng silid, grabe ang ulan.. feel kong kumanta kasama si regine sa amphi.. gagawa kami ng music video.. duet kami.. kabaliwan..

dati nung bata pa ko, ayokong ayokong umuulan.. dahil dyahe ang ulan pag feel na feel mong makipag habulan sa mga kalaro mo habang tuwang tuwa naman ang uhog mo sa pag tulo mula sa ilong mo.. gusto mong lumaban sa pabilisan ng takbo at pabilisan ng bike at paggalingan ng grades, pataasan ng talon at minsan, kahit na sa nanay ko lang to narinig, nakakita na rin ako ng mga batang nagpapataasan ng ihi.. lahat yun dapat magaling ka. pero pag umulan, sorry nalang. pantay pantay kayong mga talunan sa ilalim ng bubong ng isang bahay o ng isang tindahang inutangan mo na ng kendi.
pero ngayon, ayoko ng ulan.. di ako makakauwi ng maaga. mahirap mag commute. malayo layo pa ang lalakarin ko papunta sa jeep na sinasakyan ko. ni hindi nga ako makalabas ng building. lalo pa ngayon na nakikipag contest ako sa aso ko sa pagtahol at sa pinsan kong bata sa pag singa ng uhog. stranded ako dito..

ngayon, masarap matulog. masarap magpahinga. masarap kumain. masarap ang hindi maghabol - sa deadline ng report, thesis, papers, recitations, grades at pati oras. kung pwede mo lang pigilan ang bawat pag ikot ng mga kamay sa orasan siguro matagal mo nang ginawa yun. pero hindi pwede yun. kailangan itong umikot sa ayaw at sa gusto mo. may sarili syang kumpas na sinusunod, sariling musikang sinasayawan. habang ikaw sumasayaw sa musika ng pagsusumikap at kumpas ng panahon. lagi kang gahol sa oras. minsan kung iisipin ko, para rin tayong mga bata na lumaki. kasi sa ating mundo ngayon, kailangan pa rin tayong makipag paggalingan. pabilisan matapos ang lahat. pabilisan sa pag asenso, paggalingan sa trabaho, palakihan ng bahay, pataasan ng sweldo, paramihan ng kotse, paramihan ng degree.. lahat competitive. lahat ng ito'y pilit mong sinasayawan hanggan sa minsan di ka na makahinga. para kang unti unting lumulubog at pilit mong pinapadyak ang mga paa at kamay mo pero sadya kang lumulubog. sa mga panahong ito, nais mong makarating sa ibabaw at makahigop ng hangin.. ang pinakamahalagang bagay sa yo ngayon ay hangin..

at ikaw ay huminga - nagpahinga..
bigla mong naranasan ang pag luwag ng iyong dibdib. ang paghinga ng maganda at malalim.

you were able to exhale.
lahat ng hirap mo, naihinga mo na. naisuka mo na. at nailabas mo na lahat ng mga frustrations mo.

kaya ako nandito, sa maliit na computer lab, sa loob ng isang silid, sa ilalim ng isang building, habang hinihintay ang pagtila ng ulan, nagpapahinga - humihinga.


bukas bagong musika, bagong kumpas, bagong araw..

fat michaels place - bangkal

hello peeps..

i should warn you that starting from today, whatever movie i watch, whatever food i eat, whatever place i go to, i would rate them! hehe.. for movies ill give tickets - 5 tickets down to 1 ticket.. for food ill give spoons and for anything else ill give stars.. (ok i know this is just the corniest but please please bear with me, im a frustrated writer)

since i have nothing else to do i guess i just have to tell you about what happenned to me last night.. yuri, jd and myself went to fat michaels place.. its just near our house. we were planning to go there since forever. however, because of some things that i just would not want to ennumerate, we were not able to. it was just last night that we decided to go there. and it was funny if you think about it because for so long we were planning to go there and just last night, when jd said that we should eat there, we finally did. so we were there.

it was so cool! coolness! hahaha! the interiors were a mix of country, home and bohemian.. it was a very intimate place. so intimate that you have to reserve before you can eat there. i think there were a lot of personalities who went there already. just last night, chico (of chico and delamar) was there and guess what - he was with his boyfriend! hehe, they were holding hands.. ewww.. well anyway, so there it was really good..
but what struck me most was the prices of the food they serve there! wow.. who would ever think that businesses in bangkal would charge a hundred pesos for a plate of food! hehe! but the price was somehow overshadowed by the taste of the food. it was really good.
ok this is getting long, ill make it short:
parking: 1 spoon
there really is no parking space except for the street in which it stands
accomodation: 4 spoons
there was this lola there who can really get personal with you. ergo, you feel just at like you were at your friend's house (i say that because my house can never look like that)
interior design/atmosphere: 4 1/2 spoons
like i said, it was so cozy and intimate and warm.. just the perfect place to chill out
food: 4 spoons
the food was great but the serving was a little small for me
price: 2 spoons
to have a good meal, you may spend from 175 - 250 pesos. a little much than your average pinoy can afford.

overall i would rate them 3 1/2 spoons

ok you can go on with your life now.. :)

late and stuck

right now, im doing a paper on basically sucking on the university's mission and vision because im so fuckin late! i was here at the university at 9 but the class started at 8.. i know its my fault but do we really have to do this shit??

wanna read a part of my essay? hehehe.. here it goes:

In my three years of study here in DLSU and with the help of my religion courses, I firmly believe that I have been, still am and will be a Christian achiever for God and Country. This is evident in my community services that I have truly wholeheartedly taken part in. I was able to be part of the people that helped the less fortunate brothers and sisters in Binangonan, Rizal, the Our Lady of Fatima Parish in Bangkal, Makati and also helped in the tutorials of the elementary kids in Paco, Manila. Along with my other outreaches, these has been a great help in opening my eyes to the situation of the country and with that situation, being able to allow myself to help them in any best possible way I can. I have devoted to them my spirit, intellect, passion for the arts and what every La Sallian would treasure – time. With the mission of the university deeply rooted in my heart, I can say that I can now continue being an achiever in academics, co-curricular, extra-curricular and social service for God and country.

ok ok ok.. i know its really bad. But i really have to say everything - even if it means sucking up - to fill the 3 page reaction paper to these 5 questions..

yeah, im doing this in my 3 minute break, ok? don't fuss..

anyway, ill post another one if i survive this freakday of my sad life :(

ciao! :)

CHATTERBOX

friends.. and foes! i now have a chatterbox where you can post all your shout outs and comments - anything at all!

try it! its fun! its located at the bottom of this page! :)
ciao!

PMA... not that pma!

tired... :(

just got from pma convention.. not the philippine military academy that you think but the philippine marketing association convention in PICC.. the talk was more like an entrepreneurship seminar than a marketing talk.. a speaker, who was the founder of figaro coffee shop came and talked about how she started the business.. i learned 2 lessons:

1. dream big

2. make it happen

it was followed by another talk by the president of Chikka (i think).. it was hell boring.. he kept talking about the philippines being the text capital of the world yadda yadda yadda.. nothing new..

what i liked, though, was the cream puff they served for dessert for lunch.. YUM!
and another thing - the 100 best ads all over the world, nice!
started at 9 and ended at 3..

sorry if you have to read all these, i just have nothing new to write here than the daily itenerary of my sad life.. sorry! :)

ermm what else..
janna: start writing something i can read.. deng!
yuri: read janna's
pres: read yuri's

ok that's all for today

if i aint got this blog

nice song! special thanks to the person i copied this from! :)

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
And in a world on a silver platter
And wondering what it means
No one to share, no one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you" ~Alicia Keys (If I aint got you)

>>> just dropped by to say hi, nuthin much this day.. bo0ring!

RANT/RAVE TRILOGY

the pot of gold

just yesterday i went to ortigas to get my ticket for the philippine marketing association convention in PICC.. i was not supposed to be there because there were tickets before in school, but my classmate asked me to wait for him so we could pay together (sucks) but it was all disappointing - even frustrating - that i was not able to pay on time, ergo i have to go to their main office instead. so the story begins..
rr wentwith me to ride the bus going to robinson's and from there we were supposed to take a jeepney ride going to this emerald street.. so we did and got down on emerald street. it was so fucking hot and we were so frustrated because we cant find this tektite tower that we asked a couple of ladies who were standing on the street.. they said that we keep walking down the street and we would find it.. we kept walking..

and walking..

and walking..

and walking..

finally we were so tired and so hot and tired and hot that we decided to ask the securtiy guard of a building that we passed through.. and we just wanted to die when he said that we have to go back and pass a very small lane going through another smaller lane and we turn right on a street and voila - we will find the freakin tower! sounds easy but it was one hell of a walk - the sun seems to be happily shining behind our necks and we, the poor creature feel like we have the world on our shoulders..
well, on the bright side - we now have a tan! nice? not!
so in the end, we did find the building.. our problem was supposed to end there when we found ourselves in the streets again desperately trying to know the direction of home.. deng!

broke diaries

gawd, i have no money! as in nada! :(
just so depressing when people borrow money from you and you did your best to lend them the money and when you freakin need it - they'd be a goner!! >:(
the saddest part is, when they are your relatives! and the most depressing part is - they are 43 years old! sheesh! can't they take care of themselves? and actually if you think this is really sad, listen to this, he (yes, he's a he, and to cut the story short, the name is - remember this - jojie:() just borrowed the money so he could gamble his ass off in a makeshift house that really is a gambling den.. PATHETIC!

silver lining

thank god for tita dolly and she gave 500 when i needed it, payable when able. she also gave me 15 peso load.. nice no?! a blessing!
momy called earlier this morning and she said that my allowance will be available on saturday pa.. im cool! better than nothing - right?!

...

i havent been posting since forever!

im running out of cold cold cash and it sucks!
this blog thing could turn into a broke diary if this cash problem continues.. money really is the root of all problems..

next, i would like to post a commentary on philippine politics but i really have no time..

next, i would like all my friends to know that yuri now has a blog site.. wehehe! http://slack-time.blogspot.com
however i dont like this site very much coz i cant post pictures here!!! waaaaa! i think ill transfer to other blogsites.. but deng! ive invested too much of my time here.. anyway, if id do such thing, ill always keep you posted, aryt?!

ermm, what else...

special hi to tita guing and janna who have visited.. and to pres too! hope youre doing fine fine fine!

(pause...)

ok i think this is enough for today..

the prince, julia and me

last night, me and my friend watched the prince and me (julia stiles and some guy..
it was a good movie, except that it isnt really my cup of tea.. i dunno why..
i dont really like watching teeny bopper films and all the romantic stuff but sometimes i do enjoy a movie that just makes you feel good!

anyway, whats today? hmm.. the usual - god i need a life! its all about routines! :( (read blog before this) tomorrow is friday and it feels so good! i can go out (as if i did not last night)..
sheesh this marketing convention stuff, it bugs the hell out of me! i just called them awhile ago and i have to be there in pasig to claim the ticket for the friday marketing event of the year - as if! hehe, but i guess this is good for my career (wooh! career! what career am i talking about!)
i really enjoy this blog thing! i think i wanna be a writer! really! i really do!

what im really doing right now is multi tasking, im writing this and at the same time, im talking to my friend.. so sorry if what im writing here doesnt make any sense..
till here! bye! ciao!

:)

la la la...

na na na...

we we we...

.. just trying to get over today! arRgh!

deng im just, too bored!

untitled

another one! "@_@"

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a	7
your best quality is	your style
your worst quality is	you think people judge you
this is because	Of the people you hang around
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

nuthin much today

the title totally sums up what happenned today - nothing much.. usual routine.. sad!

isn't is sometimes depressing when we just go through the things we are supposed to do just for the sake of going through another day.. sigh! everything's just SO routinary.. and it sucks.. you want to enjoy every minute of your existence but you just cant! how sad!

well as for me, though i wanted to, very hard actually, i just cant. its just the same every now and then.. and then all of a sudden you realize that youre old and there's nothing you can do about it. okiez enough of this crap..

tommorow's gonna be another day and i just hope its something more exciting than today.. sniff sniff!

midterms are through though.. got to get over the quizzes and finals.. HAR!

and it actually rained..

boy am i that good in wishing? i wished yesterday to rain and how it rained! :)
if that's so, then i guess i should wish for world peace and the freedom of angelo dela cruz! ok maybe i should start with myself - hmm.. WISHLIST!
1. to be able to buy my own condo in makati
2. to have a job that pays well to be able to buy my condo in makati
3. to be able to finish my studies and have a job that pays well to be able to buy my condo in makati
4. to be able to survive this term to finish my studies to land a job that pays well to be able to buy my own condo in makati

whew! wishing really sometimes sucks.. deng.

yay! tommorows gonna be tuesday and i love tuesdays and thursdays since coz i dont have to wake up damn early! and i can sleep late, too! major YAY!

ok what else.. hmm.. guess this is it..
ciao!

sunny days and sunday

hehe, found this while i was surfing others blogs.. anyway here it goes... @_@

Pathetic Random Poetry Generator by PurpleAnkh
Title	Love Me to Death
Line 1	Never take it for granted,
Line 2	Juliet had the right idea,
Line 3	Lift me out of this pain,
Big Finish	Because you're pathetic & sad
Your Name Here
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

hot hot HOT! today is so freakin hot.. i dunno why, but its rainy season isnt it not?! wehehe.. so why the hell is it so hot? humid? hell..
i awoke at 1130.. actually 1230 coz i have to just lie there and think what ill do today.. coz the last two sundays, my friends and i went to somewhere thats supposed to be a secret.. hmm

mom called last nite - wihee! had a fight with yuri last nite - wihee (i guess) finally had the guts to shout - and boy was it loud.. really!

hoping for a good monday - and i just hope its like the song - rainy days and mondays..
*sigh*

just nice

wow, this is just so nice.. ive been posting my ass here and no one even comes to read all of them.. just nice.. well at least i can just pour my heart here and no one will know.. i can hate someone and still that person wouldnt know.. JUST NICE.. but im cool..

anyway, my week has been so depressing.. all my subjects have midterms.. especially accounting.. dont you just hate all that debit-credit-income statement-balance sheet jargon?! and not to mention those numbers.. actually i hate everything that uses a calculator.. o by the way, im done with all my math subjects - YAY!

my heart goes out to my family - who seems too oblivious with what im doing here (the blog that is) and to all my friends who doesnt give a goddamn about anything i write here.. hehe!! dont get me wrong - IM NOT BITTER! repeat! hehe..

whew this is like the first "normal" thing i wrote here.. tis nice though..

my shout outs to the people i JUST despise! you know who you are.. BITCH! wahahahaha!!!
ciao!

dont quit

when things go wrong as they sometimes will
when the road your trudging seems all uphill
when the funds are low and the debts are high
and you want to smile but you have to sigh
when care is pressing you down a bit
rest if you must but dont you quit

life is queer with its twists and turns
as everyone of us sometimes learn
and many a fellow turns about
when he might have won had he stuck it out
dont give up, though the pace seems slow
you may succeed with another blow

often the goal is nearer
when a faint and faltering man
often the struggler has given up
when he might have won the victor's cup
and he learned too late when the night came down
how close he was to the golden crown

success is failure turns inside out
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt
and you never can tell how close you are
it may be near, when it seems so far
so stick to the fight when youre hardest hit
its when things seem worst, that you must not quit

_________
wow, this poem is just my inspiration for this day! this just kept me going!
i never knew ill make it this far if not for this poem.. what an inspiration..
surely inspiration just pops out in such many and unfamiliar places that sometimes we just seem to overlook it. but it just keeps staring us in the eye and sometimes when were really that hardheaded, it comes round the corner to bite us in the ass! hehe..
but these inspiration, i would have to say, for me, is a blessing or moreover, a blessed discernment. just like a spark of light in such a dark place.. sudden yet youll never know how much you need light when youre in the dark.. ok my mind's running all over the place again. sorry:) just keep up with the thought.. anyway, that poem was my inspiration (and i kept on yakking about what inspiration is and how important it is) i hope that will be too after you read it..
well i better go sleep now, i have eyebags as large as the island of negros. and its sagging already up to my chin - eewww! haha.. anyway, thanks for reading.. ciao!

room for rent

there are a lot of things i want in this life
a new phone, a new aircon, the newest gizmo
a new life maybe
but i guess all i ever wanted is someone i can talk to
realy talk to
to make me laugh
to make me cry
eat with
share my life with
just someone willing
willing to dive
to risk
is it too much to ask
for someone to say hi
hello
for someone to talk
for someone to make my life
just a little bit better
i feel alone
and sad
and cold
you see, i have a lot
time,
care,
love to offer
why wouldn't someone stay
is it too much for someone to call
and say hello
to ask how im doing
if im ok
if i've eaten
for a long time
i just guess

it is...

to the last person...

.. and the first will be the last, and the last will be the first...

you were the last person
i ever thought of running to
to finally say what my heart
longs to say for the longest time

you were the last person
whom i thought would listen
to the inner yearnings of my heart

you were the last person
among my circle of friends
whom i confided
my deepest, darkest secrets

but just yesterday i knew
the last person on my list
you were not
although you were the last person
i would expect
for me to vent all my frustrations
you were the first one to come along
the first one to hear me all
the first one to tell me
"its okay, my friend
i've got you all covered
so that no wind, storm, rain
or even the mightiest whirlwind
can harm you
lest give you a scratch"

for the last person i ever thought
of running to
for the last person i ever thought
of crying my heart out
for the last person i ever thought
of confiding my soul
you are the first to come for help
you are the first to hear my pain
you are the first to see my worries
you wiped them all away
for the last person i ever thought of
in my heart you will now be
at the top of my list

im my own god

isnt it sad when you want some things to be the way you want it to be and you do everything in your power that is possible just to do just that but in the end it just doesnt fall the way you expect them to fall? there's something wrong in that sentence and i think its the word EXPECT. you cannot just expect things.. things are naturally unexpected - for me atleast.
i dont know what happenned to me when i started to even slightly expect something to happen or hope to happen. okay i may be bewildering you. ill tell you all about it.
my bestfriend betrayed me. or so i think. here's the situation: whenever she has some things thats bothering her, she always comes to me. she says everything (or so i think.. again) to me. and im trying - god, how i tried - to tell her whats right (yeah, i know, who knows what's right anyway). and she promised me NOT to do the thing she is supposed to do. well to cut the story short, this sort of thing happenned for like a year. even if im so tired and grumpy and everything, i always see to it that im there whenever she needs me. (and o, before you think of anything else, she is not a "girlfriend material") im there even if i myself havent been able to fix my own troubles and worries - my life in short. and i know, please dont tell me to fix my life first before i fix other's life - im just being a good friend. well anyway, that thing happenned for almost a year. just recently, she promised me something that she wouldnt do. and yes, she did not do it.. FOR A DAY! and she kept on doing it from that day forward! i know im confusing you already but i cannot just post what that THING is really coz ermm this is public.. :|
damn i hate it when what i want to happen doesnt happen. sorry for the long story here but i guess the lesson i learned here is what i wanted to share. that things are unexpectable. god i hate myself when i say that but thats the truth. the truth hurts right? but nobody said that it would hurt like hell! F*CK!!
i guess when i think about all these things there's just one freakin question that i have to answer.. well atleast to think about.. how can i make it right??

now the title is not right anymore .. should be "am i my own god?"
*sigh*