5, 4, 3, 2...

That moment when you start running fast while making up, rather, convincing your mind that you are actually about to jump off a cliff - never mind the tall grass that pierces your legs, or the once-in-a-lifetime blooming of an unusual flower, or the pebbles that punctures the soles of your feet; the only thing you hear is the beating of your own heart like the heavy footsteps of a running giant and the wind ringing inside your ears, like cymbals that have just been beaten -- that's when you've decided, in between the buzz of a fly and the falling of the autumn leaf that you are, in fact, as the fog gives way and the rays of the sun beaming on the edge, ready to jump - about to jump - in 5, 4, 3, 2...

chapter 8

it was then that they made love under the black sky. she had never felt this way before; as if every inch of her body has been awakened into combining each single sound into one big symphony. she felt that she was the genius conductor who makes long, melancholy sounds in one lift of the finger. when her arms swayed west, an explosion of sounds permeated through her very core. for her it was not just an awakening of her vagina but an awakening of her soul.
he, on the other hand, would be her master. pulling strings and making her move to his direction. he grinds and her pelvis would violently move against his. he grabs hold of her full breasts with one hand and kiss it sensuously and grips on her hair - all while still feeling each ripple of the inside of her wet cunt on every thrust.

what they would hear from each other as heavy, uncontrolled breaths, are words of love drifting into the thick, musky air of that starless night.

they knew nothing of the outside world. so long as the flesh satisfies its insatiable hunger, nothing else mattered.

dear wind

dear wind

napapansin ko na nitong mga nakalipas na araw malakas ang ihip mo. masarap pagmasdan ang puno ng sampaloc sa harap ng bahay habang nilalaro mo ito. nakakatuwa ding tignan ang palmera kapag kayo'y nagaaway at pilit mo siyang niyuyuko sa lupa. at masarap din ang pagdampi mo sa aking balat tuwing akoy uupo at magmumuni-muni.


i love it when you stroke my hair with your hands. i like it when you silently caress my tired and wrinkled skin. it feels so natural. it's like you are a part of me and i, a part of you.

pero naiinis ako kasi hindi mo kayang abutin ang kwarto ko. wala itong bintana kaya't lagi mo akong kinakatok. hindi ko maramdaman ang kamay mo na dumadampi sa buhok ko. hindi ko rin tuloy maranasan ang sarap ng iyong haplos sa aking maselang balat.

i can only dream that you are there with me, gently blowing on me on my sleep. and in my dreams, i can feel you all around me. i can still smell the passion in every touch, the love in every gentle hush.

i have one request, though, dear wind. please be gentle with me, do not be harsh. i have been weak these weeks. my soul is fragile, my spirit tired. i have been failing myself and i apologize for that, dear wind. i cannot contain my emotion sometimes that i forget that i am happy.

but i would appreciate it if you could carry me to places that would awaken me and rekindle my love for life, my zest for being alive.

for now i want to thank you and ask these of you. so if you can, dear wind, grant my wish today. if only you can. if only I can.