RS

This is one of those nights when I feel really iffy. The person I was hoping to hear from the most has not been replying to my texts for a week. We’ve met last week and it was great. One of the best meetings (it’s not a date) I’ve had, in fact. But after the person left for Cebu, no more texts. Sigh.

I’ve also just had a dream. In it, someone was driving and asked if I could drive, instead. When I started the ignition and began to step on the pedal, I was seeing nothing, not even the road. So I put it on break and tried to adjust the wheel so I can see. When I hit the gas, again, I cannot see anything. It was pitch black.

My dream cut to when I was literally hitching beside the car. Inside the car were Prince William, who was apparently on a secret visit to Dumaguete, along with his security people. 

In the car was also my Lola and two of my family member whom I don’t recognize. I just know that they were. While the car was speeding down the main street of Dumaguete, I looked up and saw the moon. It was perfectly round and perfectly white that I started to howl. Not just howl but howl and convulse. I thought, at least in that dream, it was what I should do because of the moon’s perfection.

Cut again. This time I was in my Nanay’s dining table and eating on the table were my cousins and my Lola. There was this very charming cat that jumped on the table and suddenly stretched around the plate where the rice was. I had to shoo her away.

I tried to look for interpretations online and found something disturbing. It seems that I don’t exactly know what I’m doing in my life and that something inside me is being revealed.

I just hope it comes sooner. Like I said, I’m trying to spend the rest of my twenties in a good spirits.

Tonight as well, I was thinking of working abroad. Somewhere that would really make me build on my own and start a new life. I dunno. All this feeling of getting nowhere (?) and doing something new and starting fresh is recurring for weeks now. What do I do, now?