fathers day

same ground

My love,Its been a long time since i cried
and left you out of the blue.Its hard leaving you that way when
I never wanted to.

Self-denial is a game
Its strange i never would've
wanted if until there was you.

Because i have learned that love is beyond
what human can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.

that's why i don't understand is why im feeling
so bad now when i know it was my idea.
i could've just denied the truth and
lied. but why am i the only one standing stranded
on the same ground?

Because i have learned that love is a
word gets thrown a little bit too much.
the best excuse to fill the infinite abyss
i have never have to if all else fail

If all else fail, would you be there to love me?
If all else fail, would you be brave to see right
through me?

... so true

... i'm feeling alright now

my very own windex

my very own windex

i finally found the solution to all those kalat in my house. the other day, when yuri accidentally scratched me on my side with his unmanicured and uncut nails (and maybe dirty), i asked him to clean the bathroom, toilet, bring the trash out, buy me some cigs and cut his nails.
the first two he did. he cut his nails before we went to bed. i took the trash and bought my own cigs.. abuso daw ako eh.. hehe..
so to get my house cleaned, i have to be physically hurt and bruised and scathed. arte. but no thanks. next time, he'll clean honeybunch's sh*t.. haha..

the scratch still stings now.. darn..

phil independece

happy philippine independence day

mabuhay ka pilipino!

untitled

i just posted the other day about the hell of going through repressed emotions. yesterday, after my first class, i decided to pass by the chapel and say a quick prayer.. i don't know if it was really a prayer because i just heard it from what i was watching last week and i thought it was the perfect "prayer"

god, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change
the courage to change the things that i can
and the wisdom to know the difference

the feeling of serenity didn't come as quickly as expected. i am only human.. but luckily, during the course of the day i felt ok na...

today, still struggling a bit but still hanging on..

ciao!

emotions

repressed emotions

i can tell many creative ways you can repress emotions. but i won't do that now - it's tiring you know.

i'll just share.

just last night, i was able to confide to a friend how CURRENT repressed emotions were killing me. i'm not - never - good in expressing my feelings and emotions. actually, i do that thing always, if not most of the time. i don't know why. but going back to my childhood, i have never really been that way. during my childhood, people would think of me as a very emotional and thoughtful person. there was never an occassion when i didn't greet the members of my family a happy birthday or happy mother's day or happy father's day. i also remember, before, i will lock myself in my mother's room just because i saw my cousin hit his younger brother.

all that has changed. not that i don't care about anything and anyone. it' a little complicated than that. i don't tell how i really feel anymore. i mean, yes, i will (definitely) react to something or someone over things - being a very opinionated person that i am. but it's purely about the subject matter or situation and has nothing to do with dealing with and telling my emotions. to me, it's like being naked in front of a person when you lay your feelings on the table. there's just no coming back. and there's absolutely nothing you could do about it.
the friend i referred to also told me that "we" (people like the two of us) don't usually (try really)wear our hearts on our sleeves. maybe, like i said, it makes us vulnerable and alone.
maybe it's also the artist in me. being emotional and all but never expressing it verbally. even if that thing really ticked us off, not a word. or it's just me. i have no idea.

one thing though that i noticed though was when something ticks me off and i get very VERY emotional or overreactional (if there's such a word) the first thing i do is to stay away from the situations. stay away and gather thoughts. whisper words of cuss, snide remarks and all. since i never liked confrontations and arguments at all, i shut everything out. so that's the end of them - and me.

pardon the inconsistencies.. that's me. deal with it, you piece of shit. no not you.

bday daryll

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARYLL

mama's boy... bully... tub o' lard... bonjing...

but what do i know... i only know that he'll always be my little brother...

grow up to be someone you and i both will be proud of!
but no matter what, i'm still proud of you!

happy birthday!

spa day

what a wonderful spa day...
finally got those pent up tension in my muscles and groins and lord knows where out of my system...
haaayyyyyyy......

fat pig

in my almost four years stay in my beloved la salle, i never thought i'd have a classmate this gross. he is filipino chinese with hair all over and maybe weighs 200 pounds and kinda 6 feet tall.
he sits in front of me and all i can see is his hair covered nape and the crumpled t-shirt on his back. i was writing my notes when i glanced back again to the professor when he finally made a move to the side, kinda lifting his humongous right thigh and guess what? he farted! nakakadire! *pukes* i normally laugh when i hear someone fart but this time, it was way beyond funny, it was UBER GROSS! and a few seconds later came the bomb. i swear i could have died that second.
weird people those comsci peeps... sheesh..

i've been baaad! i didn't think that in a matter of 5 hours i can do something so horrible.