in media res

in medias res

i would want to think that i love my job. but lately, i guess i'm beginning to feel that i am not cut out for this. it's like week after week, my confidence is going down the drain. partly because i did not get the stat that i expected.

i know, though, that i shouldn't expect much since i am still a newbie and i am still in the process of learning and relearning everything. but just yesterday, i was on the verge of tears because of frustration. i am sincere in helping out people but i guess it's not enough. i try my best to make each people satisfied but it's never enough.
i have heard that pleasing EVERYONE is pleasing NO ONE. but no one said that i cannot please ANYONE.

and what's shitty is when you know that you put your heart and soul into what you're doing and it still turns out to be the biggest tae situation, it just gets the better of me.

on the bright side, one door is still open. that door has been open since i got into the other door i'm in right now. and the doorkeeper has been inviting me in ever since. i just don't know if i want to enter it. i know i wanted to so bad before. but things are different now. i don't know.

it sucks when you feel that you have passed the crossroad of your early quarter life and when you're treading the road you chose, it diverges yet again. but i am happy that i still have a choice.

i know some of you can easily tell me what to do and what not to do. but i also know that we all know the feeling i'm feeling right now. *sigh*

ciao!