mistakes

mistakes

so yesterday, like i said, i went for a medical exam in shangri-la. it was one of those days that you would just like to forget, believe me.
so i went. they asked if i already brought my stool sample and i thought she said SCHOOL. so i said "yeah, i'm using my SCHOOL id." mistake number 1. they instructed me to come back again when i have it. since that was the only day i'm given to do my medical exams, i thought that i should take a dump. and since i don't feel shitty (literally)i felt the urge to eat.

but before eating, i thought i should first find a paid toilet for me to use. after doing all those things, i finally found myself inside the cubicle trying to dump as hard as i can. and fuck it didn't come easy. when i felt that i was about to take a dump, i didn't notice that my thing was not pointing inside the bowl and i peed on my pants and my boxers. hurriedly, i got a roll of tissue and pressed it against my pants. mistake number 2.
finally, my shit is out. UNFORTUNATELY, my shit was hiding itself way below the pipe of the toilet. mistake number 3.so, armed with chopsticks and a plastic bag, both of which i got from the japanese restaurant i went to earlier, i chopsticked my shit. THAT WAS SUPER GROSS. i was gagging uncontrollably, thinking that that was the closest i've ever held my own shit. AAAAAAAAAND, when i thought i got a piece already, the whole shit came with it. GAGGED AGAIN ALMOST TO THE POINT OF CRYING. while i was trying to cut it again, i looked away and put it inside the cup. luckily for me, it didn't made a mess. so i washed my hands 4 times and hurriedly went back to the clinic.
i was there and i thought my bad luck was over. WRONG! mistake number 4. when the female doctor checked me up, she finally said "ok stand over the corner and drop your pants."

ME: uhhh... so i unzipped my pants, pulled it down and pulled down my boxers finally.i was trying so hard to look undaunted and normal. but i just can't.
DOCTOR: cough!
ME: (coughs)
DOCTOR: harder!
ME: (huh?!) (coughs harder)
DOCTOR: ok turn around and bend over.
so i pulled my pants up again and turned around and bent over.
DOCTOR: (laughs) oh no, put down your pants
ME: (HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAAAAAAAAT?!) OK
DOCTOR: hold your butt cheeks and spread it open
ME: (OH PLEASE OH PLEASE, LET ME DIE NOW, LET ME DIE NOW...)
DOCTOR: OK THAT'S IT. you can put your pants on now.

i honestly felt that i was so small as the letters she asked me to read. dammit.

after that, feeling so violated, i went home. kidding.

at around 6 that evening, jd called me to go with them for asian spirit's 10th year anniversary at westin philippine plaza, now hotel philippine plaza.
when i got there, i had mistake number5. i did not bring my camera!!! boohoooooooooooo. if i did, i would have take a picture of gloria arroyo and her PSG alalays, tessa prieto valdez, johnny litton and pinky amador. damn. well at least i finally saw the president of the philippines personally. woah! she was so cute with her mole while trying to eat a sausage. lol. she's so small!!!!!!

so there. anyway, i can't help but post these. enjoy.

ciao!