of signs and miracles

of signs and of miracles
random thoughts

i have been desperate for quite so many times. and as they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. to cite an example, i was so desperate in my financial management class that i used a small codigo where i wrote all 30 plus financial formulas. it worked. i got the grade that i wanted. a grade that was a little beyond passing, as a matter of fact. yes i cheated. like i said, it was a desperate time and it was a desperate measure. it soon passed and i completely forgot about it.

sometimes, during these desperate times, i hope. i pray. and i ask for help and strength and miracles and signs on how i want my prayers to be answered. more oftent than not, i am so into my prayers and thoughts that i am blinded by these. and i forgot to see the signs. i did not see it as it stares at me in the face. i brush it off, thinking that it is just a coincidence and i ask for a bigger than life signs. maybe i asked for a burning bush of some sort but i was hopeful. and i prayed a little more. again, hoping for those signs that i wanted, maybe this time, a talking dog. ofcourse i did not get a talking dog or a burning bush or a comet to hit the sahara. it was plain ignorant. not stupid but ignorant. over time, i got more and more desperate that i just wanted to surrender. and that's what i did. i prayed and i surrendered everything. let thy will be done. and i got an answered prayer. i was so dumbfounded about everything when all i got to do was to surrender.

as for my sign, as i am typing this, i am still waiting for it. for i may never know. it might just be a friend to pat me on the back. a person that i made happy who thanked me. or the air that i breathe. maybe i'm not really hoping for a miracle. maybe we are our own miracles. i don't really know. but i guess we are.

pardon the incoherent, and incohesive sentences. my mind thinks faster than what my fingers could type.