this choice

this choice

i was supposed to post this last december 1. pero nawalan naman ako ng internet...

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i am not feeling well. physically and mentally, uh-uh.
i'm feeling this weird pain on my lower-left abdominal area and also the lower part of my body. it began last week and still is now. not worse though, but not even slightly better. i am not sure if what i'm experiencing on the physical level is the effect of my mental and emotional stress. my current job (and for the next two years) is not really 100% mentally demanding. but i have to be on my mental best most of the time. after all, all eyes are on my ass.

today, i can say that i am physically and mentally drained. the energizer bunny has just ran out of batteries... and the thought that i'll be doing this for two years exhausts me more.

with all these running through my head right now, i am now (for second time, dammit) questioning my choices. i mean, let's just put it this way, i want to be so many things, i want to do so many things and i also get bored easily. i am now thinking that, maybe, my problem is that i just cannot stay in one place and do the same thing for more than two seconds. and that is what's killing me right now.

i think the best thing someone can do for me right now is to grant me a week long rest. because frankly, comparing this current job to my last job and, to say the least, the past 20 years of my existence, i think i am in a state of shock.

but whatever is running through my head and body right now, well, tomorrow's a new day.

just a thought to ponder on.

ciao!