exhausted

exhausted.

yes. that's the word for me right now.

i have been meaning to write the most beautiful entry for the longest time. but ideas and words, more often than, not elude me.

any ideas?

got one. let's talk about the most ignored subject in this blog from the very beginning.

love.

romantic love, that is. laughable as it may sound, i have never experienced it for myself. there have been times, though, when i thought for a second that i feel it. then i snap back to reality and i know for sure that it still isn't. i've got a question. how would you know it's love? is it when you have someone? is it when you're ready to give yourself to someone anytime? is it when you can sell your soul for the one you think you love? is it when you feel as helpless as ever because you feel like you feel it? is it when you question everything that you almost become a cynic?

well, for the most part, i don't want to be a cynic when it comes to love. i want to be a hopeless romantic. unfortunately, i am not. i just can't.

before, when i thought that i felt love, i felt as if it was just a force of nature that i can't reckon with. it's like having this huge magnetic energy that attracts me to this person. and i ask myself; but if it's so strong, why was i able to withstand it. get it?

love does not exist?

i don't wanna delve into the existence of love, though. it's just a question.

oh, i really cannot put myself into talking about love. ideas and words just crumble and i turn out to be a pathetic, loveless, and clueless trying hard romantic. so, i should end this now.

ciao!