on waiting

on waiting


i must admit, i never liked waiting. but i must also admit, i often make people wait. but what is it in waiting that i never did like? i asked myself and all i was able to come up with are mere hypotheses and not answers themselves.

i get insecure when i wait. minsan iisipin ko, mamaya hintay ako ng hintay, wala na pala kong hinihintay. naghihintay sa wala. i hate that. but i think it's becoming a vicious cycle.

just when i thought that everything was ironed out to what i expected it to be, it turns out, the wrinkle on the cloth was far beyond what i usually see. at nakakainis pag nalaman mo na may sablay. second thing. maybe it is because i expect something to change what was doomed to be the way it is.

waiting gives me anxiety attacks, depression and even panic. and so many times, i ask myself if i've waitied enough or i have to wait yet a little longer. and just the thought of that makes me go haywire. how do you know? and the more important question is, WHEN will you know?

minsan naghihintay ka sa isang bagay, tapos may isang magandang bagay na dadating. dilemma. hihintayin mo pa ba yung hinihintay mo? or you would not pass the chance of taking what is infront of you? and dilemmang yan, sa tingin ko, ang pinakamahirap.

as for me? i am tired of waiting. tired of expecting. tired of asking myself lots and lots of questions that i don't even know how or when or what to begin with.

so right now, i, ****** bryan ******* reyes, will wait no longer.

stop thinking all the time that you're in the way. that you are bothering the person next to you. if people don't like it, they can complain. if they don't have the courage to do so, then that's their problem.