random thoughts

"this monday, i'll go back to being green. "

so my facebook status says. why gibo? because he doesn't sugar coat issues. he answers them straight to the point in the most concise and sensible way... because he gives the best answers in all the presidential debates i've seen... because he's not selling fantasies -- he gave no super fantastical and hyper unrealistic promises... his plans are clear... because there's no mudslinging and backbiting...

the way he ran his campaign is just spectacular and admirable. even in the midst of the controversies surrounding his campaign about the support of GMA, or the lack thereof, he remained steadfast and strong.

one of the very few presidentiables na hindi ko ikahihiyang iharap sa mundo at sabihing, "presidente namin yan!"

ganun ka-simple.

-----

tulungan mo ako. lumalayo ang loob ko sayo. ayoko mang mangyari, pero papunta na dun. iparamdam mo sakin na gusto mo ako at kailangan mo ako bilang ako at hindi yung ako na hinubog lang ng isip mo.

ako ito.

sana sapat na yun.

masakit mang isipin, pero nararamdaman ko lang na nandiyan ka sa panahong kailangan mo lang ako.

ciao.

fire in the city

lonely city

fire at work

.

last week

i just finished my first two training days last thursday and friday. that just strengthened my belief that teaching/training is my passion. it makes me sweat, it makes me tired, it exhausts me, yet at the same time it fulfills me, it rewards me, and it makes me proud and happy.

i've been training what i'm training now since my prudentialife days. it's just that we don't do an in-depth training of the industry. this time, i have to learn and relearn everything i've known the past years. i need to study and review all the materials in a few days for me to train them effectively in just a matter of days. i actually miss the training i got from my last company where trainers are given months to prepare for just one product. this time, i need to cover 8-9 products in two weeks.

fortunately for me, i was able to do it last thursday and friday.

last wednesday, i was on super panic mode because there was a miscommunication between me and my boss. it was clear to me that i was going to train all the products but it wasn't made clear to me that aside from that, i was to train another module PLUS the sales process module on friday.

i was so anxious last wednesday and i called tin to talk me through what i'm about to do. i thought it was suicide already. good thing tin was able to calm me down and lay down all the facts about what i'm going to do. thanks tin.

sometimes when the world seems to run in chaos and you feel like you're in the middle of it, all you need is to have someone to make you see things in perspective AND make you feel that you can definitely do it. for that, thanks tin and macky. macky was there, too, to listen to my rants :)

thursday and friday was the best for me. after being exhausted because of the whole day training my boss and i had a short sit down meeting about my performance. he said, and i paraphrase: wow. congratulations! i'm very much impressed. i didn't expect you to train the way you trained given the short time you have to study the materials. it's impressive. keep it up and may pupuntahan ka.

:) as if all the tension went away (my right hip and right thigh still hurt from all the standing and walking haha)

------

friday, i went out with my colleagues for a birthday celebration -- still hoping that i finally gain some lunchmates hahaha.

last night, saturday, i went out with my dear barkada. i love you guys so much!

anyway, that's my week.

(anti-climactic, LOL)

ciao!

random ulit

maybe it's alright to feel this way. i should allow myself to be in this situation para hindi masyadong stressed.

seseryosohin na kita. i see a good future.

ang tagal ng sweldo. pero most of it, pambayad utang. pero ok pa din.

sa ngayon, 100% ng inis ko, dahil sayo.

"ano, tara! game na!"

nakakatuwang magka-kras.

i have yet to figure you out. if, in any way, i find a hole... ATAAAACCKK!!! lol!!

sleepy.

random

i was absent today

i feel like i made the wrong choice

i have to give it time

i feel like i'm in a limbo

nahihirapan na ko sayo

mahirap iwan at kalimutan ang mga bagay bagay

i still choose to be optimistic about things

i have to give it time

i can't entertain those thoughts

of training

naisip ko lang, pag trainer ka, di ka pwedeng pikon. di ka rin pwedeng tatanga tanga. at mas lalong di ka pwedeng sumungit. dahil hindi lang isa ang makakalaban mo, taena buong class.

pag maingay ang class, di ka pwedeng mag-maldita. wag kang babanat agad ng "i deserve some respect." tae. malamang lahat naman ng tao deserves our respect, kahit sino pa yan. bilang trainer, trabaho mong makibagay sa ugali nila. sakyan mo ang sense of humor nila. talk in their interest. never antagonize a trainee. kung titira ka, i-address mo sa pangkalahatan tapos wag mo masyadong gawin seryoso. maiintindihan na yun ng mga trainees mo.

eh kung bigla kang magagalit, wala na. sira na ang diskarte mo. pati na rin ang interes sayo ng trainees mo. pano pa sila makikinig sayo?

oo nga't proseso ang dini-discuss mo. mahaba yan, paulit-ulit, mapalabok, minsan kumplikado, pero hindi ibig sabihin nun, papatayin mo sa boredom ang trainees mo. yung tipong isang pilik-mata na lang ang bumubuka sa mata nila. tae.

lalong lalo na, wag kang magagalit pag nagkakaroon ng diskusyon. ibig sabihin, nagtatanong sila sa isa't isa. therefore, interesado silang malaman kung ano man ang sinasabi mo. sakyan mo yun. gamitin mo ang ingay nila sa lalo pang pagpapaintindi sa kanila ng punto ng sinasabi mo.

when you work with marketing/sales people, don't expect a boring bunch of people who only speak when spoken, too. tangena hindi yan mga accountants o clerks, no offense meant. mga maiingay na tao yan, madaming iniisip, minsan nagsasalita na bago magisip. trabaho mo bilang tainer ang intindihin ang mga iyon.

oo, hindi ka trainer. pero pucha, sana naman marunong ka namang makibagay at umintindi. kahit dun na lang. para yun lang, may drama nang, "i deserve some respect." ay na-leche na.

wala lang. thinking out loud lang.

ciao!

have i told you?

... that at an age of 26, and in almost five years of working, i was retired twice?

... that i still want another beach escapade after being in bohol and zambales in three weeks' time?

... that i try my hardest to be the bryan you want me to be? and that although it may not seem like it, it still hurts when i remember the things i'm supposed to forget?

... that i'm dreading working next week?

... that i miss my TDD family?

... that i desperately need/want a massage but i can't afford it now?

... that my finances are in the worst situation in years?

... that i'm thinking of backpacking for a few weeks with no cellphone?

... that you might have not noticed, but i try to blog less and less? less words, less moping, less feeling.

... that i have a backlog of three photo albums for me to upload on fb and multiply?

... that i beginning to think that this is not working out and it's not meant for me?

... that i should be sleeping but i find sleeping wasting precious vacation time so i go around looking for stuff to do online and in real life?

... that i'm on my last straw?

well i told you now.

ciao.

dormant. bohol. and some random $#!+

i have been dormant, i know.

there's too many things that happened in the last two to three weeks and i won't even try to be specific about it. chief of which is our barkada's adventure to bohol! yay!! first time!

also, there have been a lot of blessings that came my way mid-march. thank you to all those who prayed for me. thanks anton! siya kasi ang isa sa lagi kong napagre-request-an na ipag-pray ako. and the only thing that i ask of him in his prayers is that He gives me whatever is best for me, that's all.

as much as the answered prayers inspire me, of course, there has also been a lot of emotional stress for me. BUT i won't write it down anymore. i feel it's best to leave it in the past. it's quite hard to relive those experiences and write about them. aside from the fact that once i write it all down here, it becomes more real =s

anyway... sorry for that downer. haha. if your my friend on facebook, i'm sure nasuya na kayo sa mga pictures and videos :) but for the sake of my blog, here they are :)

the things we did:

rio verde lunch, butterfly sanctuary, chocolate hills, baclayon church, balicasag island, dolphin watching, balicasag snorkeling and fish feeding, bohol beach club dinner, E.A.T. danao (suislide, plunge), beach volleyball, panglao beach swimming. (i think i missed some hehe)

lol! look who i found in bohol!

THIS IS SOOOOOOOOO COOOOL!!!

you gotta try this when you go there, i swear!

this is THE PLUNGE: a canyon swing adventure attraction mounted over a 200 meter high and 300 meter wide gorge. A person would have to do a 45 meters free fall before being launched on a pendulum swing measuring to a hundred meter diameter. Cable has a maximum working load of 5 tons.

“The Plunge” is the best “fear factor” experience among other adventure activities on offer. One has to literally plunge to an open air where about two seconds, the plunger will all be defenseless, feel nothing and left all alone.

This experience is one great way to de-stress and even make one appreciate life the more.

It can accommodate 50 pax in a day. Total experience will just take around 10min.

For P700, it is sure worth the experience!

ciao!

walker

When I no longer have your heart

I will not request your body

your presence

or even your polite conversation.

I will go away to a far country

separated from you by the sea

-- on which I cannot walk --

and refrain even from sending

letters

describing my pain.

-- Alice Walker