rising phoenix
i always thought that i'm better than this. i thought that although this is not for me, i will make it here - that i will bloom wherever i am planted. and that everything will fall easily for me.
wrong.
i was slapped twice. i was foolish in thinking that after the fleeting moment of success, i will make it through. i was pulled back to the ground faster than i could think. and fuck it hurts. it is slowly taking away the only thing that is left in me - my confidence. i'm beginning to question my choices. i'm beginning to look for greener pasteurs, should there be any. i'm beginning to be restless and anxious by the fact that i have to wait for so long for me to get away from this discomforting situations.
my only comfort is that i'm getting something from this damned situation. and honestly, i really don't want to dwell in these emotions and this logic of thinking. for now, i will lick my scars with a thought that although these things might have hurt me, changed me and molded me into a new thing, i will never be reduced by any of this.
ciao.
i always thought that i'm better than this. i thought that although this is not for me, i will make it here - that i will bloom wherever i am planted. and that everything will fall easily for me.
wrong.
i was slapped twice. i was foolish in thinking that after the fleeting moment of success, i will make it through. i was pulled back to the ground faster than i could think. and fuck it hurts. it is slowly taking away the only thing that is left in me - my confidence. i'm beginning to question my choices. i'm beginning to look for greener pasteurs, should there be any. i'm beginning to be restless and anxious by the fact that i have to wait for so long for me to get away from this discomforting situations.
my only comfort is that i'm getting something from this damned situation. and honestly, i really don't want to dwell in these emotions and this logic of thinking. for now, i will lick my scars with a thought that although these things might have hurt me, changed me and molded me into a new thing, i will never be reduced by any of this.
ciao.
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