cooking for one

is _________.

a.) exhausting
b.) pathetic
c.) not my idea of a relaxing evening
d.) just what i don't need this time
e.) all of the above


e.

happy birthday daryll!

happy birthday daryll!

taft

at nilakad niya ang kahabaan ng taft, sa gilid ng mga humaharurot na mga jeepney at nagngangapal na usok. binabaybay ang bangketa ng kamalayan at naroon sa mga bawat sulok nakapaskil ang mga titk, letra, at imahe ng mapagmalaking kahapon. sadyang ginuguhit at nilililok sa hibla ng bawat kalamnan. sa dulo ng isang makipot na eskinita

naroon siya.

forgive me

i screwed up.

i know.

how could i ever forget when all that i remember is that one fateful day. and each time that i do, my pulse races and my breathing, uncontrollable. how many times do i have to say "i'm sorry?" remembering it is torture enough. thinking about how i should get along is sheer madness... something that i myself could never fathom.

for the many times i screwed up, again, i am truly sorry. if i could just pick up the pieces and move forward. then again, for every piece that i pick up, i am broken a thousand times more. to carry on is suicide.

i am tired. everything exhausts me. i absolutely have no clue as to how i can go. as much as i want to break free from this, this madness, this torture, this hell, all roads still go back to that day - to you. for the very first time in my life, i want to take everything back; fast rewind everything, undo everything.

don't give me reasons to not want you for as crazy as it may appear, i'll still go through that same ride with you. and frankly, that's all i want.

i'm sorry i screwed everything up.

the best way to forget is to remember.
pu. tang. ina.

curiosity will kill the cat.

i binge

when i'm tired, i binge. when i'm frustrated, i binge. when i'm annoyed, i binge. when i'm lonely, i binge. when i'm happy, i binge. when i'm irritated, i binge. when i feel helpless, i binge.

binge, binge, binge, binge, binge, binge.

i think this week was the record of all records in my life. last monday, i finished a bag of ruffles and a bag of doritos. i also ate a bag of tostitos, made my own cheese dip, two cup noodles, 2 500ml bottles of green tea, bread (lots of it), mayo (lots and lots of it), almost 3 liters of juice, a bag of lays, 2 packs of eaji sour cream, a pack of chips ahoy, 2 cartons of milk, and that's as far as i can remember. pukinanginangshiyetpanciteatingmaderhamper!

so how exactly do i feel this week?

nauseated.

... naman, hear me out --frou frou

MY sunday

today, i decided to have a totally me-time. today is all about me. i did not worry about my laundry, my bills, how my apartment looks like, how everything seems to be on the floor, my dentist, my life.
after quite a few weeks, i finally allowed myself to breathe again. it's scary, at first, because it seems like i'm treading unknown waters. but as before, i finally got my rhythm and it felt natural again.
a part of me still wants to hold on to what life has been for me a few weeks back. i think i should embrace that, too.
i'm still hopeful. i'm not frightened, it's unbearable. but i also know that faith shouldn't be blind. that i don't threaten it by asking questions, i make it stronger.
i'm blabbering and you won't understand.

so ciao!

congratulations bryan, this is your 400th post!

are you silenced?

but a revolution nonetheless.

mamatay ka sa inis.
^_^

february song

Where is that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won't be long
Til he opens his eyes.

Where is that simple day
Before colors broke into shades
And how did I ever fade
Into this life

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away

Sometimes it's hard to find my ground
Cos I keep on falling as I try to get
away from this crazy world

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away

And all that I've lost and found
I promise you I'll come back to you
One day

Where is that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won't be long
Til he opens his eyes,
opens his eyes

this, pala, is the lyrics of the melody i was humming the whole day. finally i remember a few lines and i googled it. it's one of josh groban's tracks in his awake album.

the james blunt affair

i've just been to the james blunt concert.

THE james blunt!

if you still haven't figured it out yet, i love love love james blunt's music. for the depressed, melodramatic, and emo guy that i am, his music stands out.
actually early this morning, i wan't really sure if i'd be able to go since no one wants to go with me because:

1. they only know two songs of him - you're beautiful and goodbye my lover
2. his songs are overly depressing
3. they're not really into music
4. wouldn't wanna spend 400 bucks for gen ad (common! i was willing to go THAT far just to watch him)
5. theyhe suddenly had something to do. hmpf!

anyway, at around 3pm today, i was already decided to go. rr and gerry accompanied me. again, i'm sorry to both of you if i seem a little bit out of my self since i was really singingshouting the whole time. COME ON! i know the lyrics to his song by heart! haha.

before i went there, i was actually preparing myself to be disappointed because of the way he would sometimes become a little too throaty when singing. and my gawd was i wrong. ganun pala talaga boses niya. and he can sustain his style all through out. was i surprised? yes. was i amazed? yes and no - because his live singing is the same as his recorded singing. wonderful.
another thing: he sang all of my favorite songs! goodness. i don't have to enumerate because they're all here in my blog. he sang "i really want you" in the most authentic and most depressing/fulfilling way - the light strumming of the guitars, the controlled, almost crying voice, the perfectly paced tempo - everything was perfect. i love it.

plus, he surprised the audience by literally running on them! kamon! he shoved each and every person who came across his way. if i were one of them, i would be happy to be one of his road kills. i have a video to prove it! haha. here!

he was that white speck of dot running through the audience hehe sorry phone cam!

anyway, that's it for now. i'll be uploading some more tomorrow after my dentist. gaaah. fuckers. hahahaha.

ps. we paid for upper box but sat on the lower box area. hihihi.

ciao!