sometimes

you just have to ask yourself if what you did is right and if what you did is the right choice.

rgt

The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

sorry i could not travel both and be one traveler

techie dream

this week, apart from working my ass off, i've been in techie mode.i found out about these, and i want them now.

sony ericsson vivaz

sony ericsson vivaz pro

sony ericsson x10 mini and x10 mini pro (with qwerty)

toshiba satellite pro u500

nikkor 50mm f/1.4

i gotta save up.

...

sorry but it still bothers me.

i really still can't believe the audacity you've shown towards me. you put me right on the spot -- damned if i do, damned if i don't. and this is not the first time.

next time, be gentle with words. see, words have this supernatural tendency to either melt or break one's heart. what happened was the latter. this is me being honest.

i was actually trying to just brush it off -- forget about it but i can't at this time yet.

i have to strike out the part of me being sorry because this time, i will allow myself to feel what you just made me feel.

i guess i am too kind.

'di ko maintindihan

... kung panong ikaw ang nanghingi ng pabor, pero parang ako ang nahihiya.

... kung bakit ang pakiramdam ko, kaya ka lang nagiging mabait eh dahil may kailangan ka.

... kung bakit madaling gumawa ng bagay para sa iba, pero pagdating sakin, laging mahirap.

... kung paano ako naging selfish.

... kung bakit kaya ko pa ring maging mapagbigay.

ewan ko na lang.

* sorry ha, pero parang ang kapal lang yata.

pocketful of sunshine

so last friday, after lunch, i decided to do an activity to prepare them for the long afternoon ahead. usually, it's just a small game wherein the losing group will have to do the consequence as given by the winning group.

i decided to digress from that usual ice breaker because i, too, am beginning to get tired of it. what i did was to write all their names on each paper and posted it in front of the class. i instructed them to go in front of the paper as it was laid out in front and write something positive about the person. it took us quite a while to finish and after which, i read it aloud in class and have each of them tell me if they liked what they heard or if anything isn't true about what was written. it was a good 30 minutes spent. after the activity, i proceeded with the afternoon discussion.

in the middle of my discussion, i noticed a piece of paper being passed around. i don't normally mind those things during my class because i'm sure as hell they were already on information overload and passing notes could help them regain their focus and, well, refrain from drifting into the oblivion.

in the middle of the afternoon, i gave them a 15-minute break so they can rest and do whatever they need and want to do. as for me, i went down to have a smoke.

when i came back, i saw a piece of paper in front of me with my name on it and a note to "please read it aloud :)"

i froze for a split second. could this be? is this the moment i realize i'm not made of stone? that i have feelings? that i am touched? hahaha.

so i gave them a smile and said thank you for the gesture. apparently, they also made one for me like i have them do earlier that day.

see, those are the small things that make me love my job even more. :)

and oh, here's what they wrote :)

• loves necktie
• male version of miss joy
• gwapo oiiis!
• kenkoy
• gracious
• mortal enemy of RC (one of the attendees i always poke fun of, in a good way, of course)
• cute
• approachable
• alaskador
• workaholic
• talented
• sweet (??)
• i like his haircut
• -- hehe what hair?!
• funny
• marunong mag plantsa
• break na pag nag-weewee
• "sige, pabili tayo ng coffee"
• "sige, pabili tayo ng sugar"
• "sige, paakyat natin yung notes"
• "sige, paakyat natin kay clavio"

now, now, now. i know there are things there that made me go "wwwuuut?!" haha but the gesture really touched me.

ciao!

last night

yesterday registered the highest temperature in metro manila -- 37.5 C.

and i wondered why i was sweating like mother and chugged down one and a half pitchers of water...

i wish we had a swimming pool.

random still

+ my boss is resigning. he confirmed it with me yesterday without fanfare. i wished him well and i told him, "TAE KA." hehe. until they find a replacement, it's just myself in the training and marketing department. =(

+ this week is my first full-on batch training. i'll be handling everything, from start to finish. it's three-week course and whole day training, too.

+ i am welcoming the change. i hope i can do this for a long time. i like what i do.

+ you and you're half truths. no matter what you say, a half truth is a half lie. period. i'm just taking a step back. i'll let you do your thing and leave everything to chance. that's what this is anyway -- chance.

+ my credit card debt is still there. masaya nanaman sila.

+ i'm looking forward to tomorrow, this weekend, and the rest of my life.

+ was able to talk to you today, i still can't figure you out. what the hell are you? :)

ciao!

surprise

i guess i shouldn't have heard what i heard.

:(

random thoughts

"this monday, i'll go back to being green. "

so my facebook status says. why gibo? because he doesn't sugar coat issues. he answers them straight to the point in the most concise and sensible way... because he gives the best answers in all the presidential debates i've seen... because he's not selling fantasies -- he gave no super fantastical and hyper unrealistic promises... his plans are clear... because there's no mudslinging and backbiting...

the way he ran his campaign is just spectacular and admirable. even in the midst of the controversies surrounding his campaign about the support of GMA, or the lack thereof, he remained steadfast and strong.

one of the very few presidentiables na hindi ko ikahihiyang iharap sa mundo at sabihing, "presidente namin yan!"

ganun ka-simple.

-----

tulungan mo ako. lumalayo ang loob ko sayo. ayoko mang mangyari, pero papunta na dun. iparamdam mo sakin na gusto mo ako at kailangan mo ako bilang ako at hindi yung ako na hinubog lang ng isip mo.

ako ito.

sana sapat na yun.

masakit mang isipin, pero nararamdaman ko lang na nandiyan ka sa panahong kailangan mo lang ako.

ciao.

fire in the city

lonely city

fire at work

.

last week

i just finished my first two training days last thursday and friday. that just strengthened my belief that teaching/training is my passion. it makes me sweat, it makes me tired, it exhausts me, yet at the same time it fulfills me, it rewards me, and it makes me proud and happy.

i've been training what i'm training now since my prudentialife days. it's just that we don't do an in-depth training of the industry. this time, i have to learn and relearn everything i've known the past years. i need to study and review all the materials in a few days for me to train them effectively in just a matter of days. i actually miss the training i got from my last company where trainers are given months to prepare for just one product. this time, i need to cover 8-9 products in two weeks.

fortunately for me, i was able to do it last thursday and friday.

last wednesday, i was on super panic mode because there was a miscommunication between me and my boss. it was clear to me that i was going to train all the products but it wasn't made clear to me that aside from that, i was to train another module PLUS the sales process module on friday.

i was so anxious last wednesday and i called tin to talk me through what i'm about to do. i thought it was suicide already. good thing tin was able to calm me down and lay down all the facts about what i'm going to do. thanks tin.

sometimes when the world seems to run in chaos and you feel like you're in the middle of it, all you need is to have someone to make you see things in perspective AND make you feel that you can definitely do it. for that, thanks tin and macky. macky was there, too, to listen to my rants :)

thursday and friday was the best for me. after being exhausted because of the whole day training my boss and i had a short sit down meeting about my performance. he said, and i paraphrase: wow. congratulations! i'm very much impressed. i didn't expect you to train the way you trained given the short time you have to study the materials. it's impressive. keep it up and may pupuntahan ka.

:) as if all the tension went away (my right hip and right thigh still hurt from all the standing and walking haha)

------

friday, i went out with my colleagues for a birthday celebration -- still hoping that i finally gain some lunchmates hahaha.

last night, saturday, i went out with my dear barkada. i love you guys so much!

anyway, that's my week.

(anti-climactic, LOL)

ciao!